66 Years Old. Back To The Future 25 Years. The Ever Changing Conscious States.


To Celia Gollin 03/08/2017 – For me to look backwards 25 years (a divorce; exclusion; menaces) like looking into the minds of my children, a totally different conscious human state is found. It is not totally unfathomable to go back 25 years in thought, historians do that all the time and especially today, 2017, with the popularity of “remembrance therapy” for “older people” in the staving off ageing and its inevitable decrepitude for most people. Having had the advantage of being an older parent at the age of 48 and in my wife having twins, a boy and a girl; learning about the modern world was somewhat a great imperative. I thought that my learning had been done at a much earlier age and that I had put the world to rights, so to speak and in my earlier years!

What is the conscious state of our past and beyond 25 years close associations, those that we have not met up within 25 years, but know that they have not had children within those 25 years? We may know where they have lived and what is their financial status, records, if any, of criminality or their extinction and even their medical records (whatever information may have been leaked). Contact with the joint past friends of 25 years can be a good source, through “social media” not available 25 years ago (2017).

The “average person” is a thousand times more complicated than the most complicated of Shakespearian characters! But has this person that you pursue (Celia Gollin) become “static in their past state of 25 years ago”, remaining, simply psychotic (as before); without any positive advancement! Does one really wish to see through all this, in what, very well, maybe, a “dark veil” and for “what are the reasons”?

This I may have made very clear, in all the past correspondence. I’m sure that it will happen eventually as the pressure builds up! “Robert Pring Dressage Training” has been, seriously, not forthcoming. Other friends at “Westbrook Hall Farm” 25 years ago are available – what a sad (no children) and an unhappy mess-up was made by all; all with my heritage!

Many kind regards +++

Charlie.

 

Some photos of a “new life” after 25 years, has flown by so fast!

 

Hi, Charlie,

Thanks for your message, obviously a very hectic time for you, and continuing to be so for a while longer.

It really lightens my heart to have you call a spade a spade, when for so long I was up against that tribe of bullies on my own, all behind closed doors, being made to feel that I was the one at fault in some way and that they were whiter than white. It severely impaired my life for years to come. Pure poison. I so vividly remember Margaret announcing to Merial and me that she and ‘uncle Brian’ had got engaged, and my heart plummeting through my boots, knowing I could say nothing, and wouldn’t have been listened to anyway.

From that day on my life went downhill, with Brian moving in and then the arrival of Roie making the situation irretrievably permanent.

I am sorry you had to suffer in the same way. I can’t say Brian was all bad. But his motive, in marrying Margaret, stinks. She was vulnerable, insecure and lonely. I can’t say why I felt like I did, but I always felt that Brian was ‘bad blood’. Your experience would seem to bear this out.

The dodgy types hanging around the farm, the pathetic and juvenile antics you were subjected to, the pursuit of your wealth, it all seems to be part and parcel. It was fortunate you and Roie didn’t have children.

I’ve learnt to wise up a bit. But when you are very naive, as I was, and when you have been trampled on, and made to feel you are in the wrong for most of your early life, robbing you of any confidence, or the ability to stick up for yourself, mainly because you have been made to doubt your own perceptions, bullies can have a field day, and boy, do they go to town! They can smell a victim a mile off. So I had to learn to deal with that, big time.

I look forward to hearing from you when time allows.

Best and warmest regards,

Celia Gollin.

 

Hi Charlie, 21/07/2017

Just a few words on Margaret and Brian’s relationship, that may throw light on your experience with Roie. Rosemary Gillian Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller.

After my father’s death, my mother was depressed and lonely. She had two very young children in tow, and, in the climate of the time, felt that to be a distinct drawback in finding a new partner. As well, there were few opportunities available for her to meet someone suitable. She met Brian at the Tennis Club, an acceptable middle-class watering hole in St George’s Hill, Weybridge. At the time, she thought he was a gregarious, sociable person, as it appeared when she met him amongst a group of people up there. He lived with his elderly mother, the youngest of three sons. His mother was not in good health, and, should she pass away, the house, a detached property in the Ashley Road area, would be sold, and the proceeds shared between the three brothers.

They courted, he went away for a year working abroad, and on his return, they got engaged and married in 1953.

Margaret later told me that, had she known what he was really like, she would not have married him. She termed him ‘neurotic’, telling me that once they got married, his apparent sociability disappeared, and he never wanted to socialise, go out, or have people, apart from very few friends, and Uncle Colin, come around to the house.

Prior to his departure to Trinidad, they had been going out for a year, not sufficient time to get to know one another.

From what my mother told me, loneliness was the main reason she married again.

As for Brian, he once told me he didn’t love her, and really had only married her because she had the house, and was a good housekeeper. He said the alternative, once his mother had died, would have been a bed sit in Surbiton, which he just couldn’t face. There was a rocky period in their marriage in which he was rather suspiciously close to his secretary, a young woman on her own with a small child.

When Roie came along, she was very much the apple of their eye and could twist them both around her little finger. She ruled the roost until Ian came along, and then, as you know, there was a lot of friction. I remember Merial and me forever competing for Margaret’s love, with never enough to go round for the two of us. I saw Roie and Ian’s relationship as being a direct repetition of this. Margaret did not seem to have much love to give and told me she did not have a good relationship with her own mother and was glad to marry early to get away from home. She also made all of us children feel like a burden to her, which in turn made us view having children as a real drag. She was constantly going on about how, when she was married to my father, she had a butler, a maid, a gardener and a cook, saying this in front of Brian.

He was very passive-aggressive within the relationship, and it was her way of getting back at him, I suppose. So that is a brief summary of the goings-on at Greenacre, and very often I felt like the only real adult in the family.

It put me off marriage for life.

Maybe that clarifies certain issues, with regard to Roie.

Kindest best regards,

Celia Gollin “Mony Mony” “The Mutations” and “The Stranglers”.

 

Hi, Charlie, (reply from 03/08/2017)

Thank you for your message, and for the photos, always most welcome.

Maybe being put in the picture helps place the whole situation in context and in perspective.

And thus helps resolve feelings. These have a habit, otherwise, of lingering into the present.

The more you know, the better. As is said, knowledge is power. the present is all we have, but what has happened in the past shapes the present, and shapes us.

The fact is, as you so well point out, 25 years ago is not now. We do what we do at any given time with what we then possess in terms of knowledge and experience. We did our best.

If we are not happy with what we did, or what was done, tant pis. We learn, and move on.

I think we have to accept when we make mistakes, or when we later feel we could have done differently, or ‘better’. We cannot change it, and would not have done things differently anyway because we didn’t then possess the experience we have gained by a later date.

I personally think it best to move on, and waste no more time on it, and instead concentrate on the present. Chasing Roie for some redress, financial or otherwise, wastes present time.

It is a continuation only of the negative, and cannot, therefore, lead to any real good, I believe.

You cannot change negative forces, and they only damage you by contact.

The best thing you ever did was to GET OUT, and buying your freedom was money well spent, and to the lasting benefit of your present, and of your future.

Very best of regards,

Celia.

Sent: 03 August 2017 21:04
To: celia gollin
Subject: Re:

Hi,

Thanks for the email.

I don’t intend to do anything or would want to (it’s far, far – very too dark). I will document the history. The filchers of “heritage” will surely become known, on Roie, as there is a new generation (hopefully, unseen at present and with many more generations of mine to come???).

As with all bullies, as you say, they are fundamentally weak. I found this during the divorce and was well able to protect myself, playing the game that she had initialized, and which, with some very good advice, I played it with a most wonderful outcome! I fell, once again in love, with such a very lucky outcome and considering my age.

It was a great shock to get a letter from Roie in 2004 (the twins being 5 yrs old) – Lizzy remembers it well, showing up her weakness (I, of course, did not respond to Roie, as most unfair)!

Now I have my retirement time to redo the old videos and photos and history. I did wish her well in her new life – at my age, we live, somewhat, on borrowed time; with a lot of help from our Doctors!

I am quite happy to put down Roie as “deceased” in my history, but I would like to track the assets, which if over a certain amount, will become public (just like she made our divorce when there was no real need to). The inheritors will become known, maybe not to me, but to the future generations of mine!

With all the time (luckily money too) on my side to await the outcomes, the vacuum (I couldn’t live with that), so to speak, belongs to the Maxwell-Muller’s, especially, with one that still (audacity) carries my name. Dinah changed hers back for some reasons, by deed poll (weird, as no “offspring”, only that of her boyfriend)!

Many kind regards +++

Charlie

Hi, Charlie, 05/08/2017

Thank you for your message.

Yes, why is it that Roie divorced you, but kept your name???!!!

Obvious, in any case, who was strong, but that says it all.

I understand your need to track your assets.

My experience of the negative is just to steer well clear!

My best regards to you, Lizzy, and the Twins,

Celia.

My Reply 05/08/2017

Hi, Celia.

Thanks for the email.

To not sound grand, the negative (so boring, usually, with boring people, un-exploring in all ways, dare I say “very common”) seems to be, in this case; a good measuring stick for oneself.

Maybe, we are all co-dependent (varying degrees of), and this is all very weird, making it all so very much more fascinating!

Why Kingsclere? We used to shoot there or pick up pheasants, for the Sainsbury Shoot, with our gun dogs on Saturdays. (Roie did not like to drive on motorways due to her accident and agoraphobia & psychosis, so I had to take her).

I preferred riding horses (went into, more fully, Eventing, after the divorce with Roie + with the family & my nieces in Dorset – Dorset was my mother’s county, with a traceable aristocratic ancient heritage – such fun playing with this), skiing (climbing), sailing, so on…

You couldn’t really do both or all. Also in my flat, near to them, in the New Forest; it was not fair to keep a gun dog after Westbrook Hall Farm.

Roie seems to of hitched up with a Crockford, maybe, N. J Crockford, Pitchorn Farm / Star Farm, behind the Star Inn Kingsclere (Kingsclere Estates & Ecchinswell), or he hitched her up.

Then her house move after Margaret died to 77 Newbury Road, RG20 4SU in 2003-2004. Presumably, is the “spinster’s” pad.

Very much a Brian looks alike. I think that he came to Westbrook whilst I was there in the last stages of our marriage!

What an awful business.

Many regards,

Charlie.

07/08/2017 (Crockford, Kingsclere. One does presume).

Hi, Charlie,

Thanks for your message.

Re the man Roie lived with after the divorce, who taught Roie about training gun dogs, I believe, it would seem they split up as a couple, and Roie was able to buy her own place when Margaret died, with the money she was then left. But there appears to remain a friendship/business arrangement, and I would imagine the money you gave her has been invested in the venture in question.

The above is guesswork, of course, based on Roie’s location, and the fact that his farm, which had been in the family for generations, according to Margaret, was extensive, and could, therefore, accommodate a livestock business.

The whole story is sad, stupid, and senseless. Those who are not able to stand up and be counted tend to resort to evasion. Guilt also plays a part. As does not being able to admit to any wrongdoing. They take after their mother in that respect. Not the sort of people I want to have in my life, antithetical to everything I believe in. So, in fact, I am relieved they have chosen to have nothing to do with me. I would otherwise feel duty-bound since they are ‘family’. A natural parting of the ways, I suppose.

I hope your Summer is going well, that the new tenants are happily settled in, and that the Twins have recovered from their exams ordeal! I am sure they will achieve excellent results.

Warmest regards to all,

Celia.

Hi, Celia reply to Celia (below) 09/08/2017

Doing some thinking about this?, the pressure, as I said, will build up & I’m learning about it “all” (getting there) at the same time. 25 years ago + is the recommended “Remembrance Therapy” (the recognition of “abuse”, they say, takes 14 yrs., on average)! Lessons for the kids! A book to write puts “50 Shades” to shame + reading all the books on the ghastly Public School System!

I know that for me all that was on my mind was a love for Roie (she knew this) & for (loving) life and all it’s “powerful forces” & being so “free & spontaneous” – at long last, after the sale of a “family estate” – “Westbrook Hall Farm”!

We had all!, been through many stages of PTSD, due to our “upbringings” & “parenting” & “family anomalies” – crushing’s of all our spirits & morals & dignities by some unspeakable cruelties (put downing’s – if we did not obey + the “ostracizations” & much worse) that were put on all of us; mostly for the sake of the social status quo (class, so on…). The selfishness of our peers (dominant mothers) with their power, towards us, at this time, was very overpowering! The delay in being empowered, unless one was extraordinarily strong (I don’t think that intelligence IQ had much to do with this). Many of us were constantly moved on and distracted so that we couldn’t specialise really fully on anything! The “balanced individual” was a paramount (product) & in my case in training for the possibility of a new World War; from a very young age at my prep school & as a teenager & a little later in the Army.

Roie & her, so called “backups” (the dressage rider/trainer), making her cruel, bullying, and so very dangerous for me; being so very tired & overworked – in the calling in of Public Authorities (I was ex-Army ‘fully trained’, somewhat frightening to some, maybe?) that did backfire on her & within one day – the nonsenses & lies – the accusation of an attempted rape, on her, by me, being one of them; I am being led astray by her in all ways!, – unforgivable, & very “rock bottom, silly, frightening, scary for me/any man: tactics” by her. The attempted coup d’état at the Farm, with her dressage rider trainer; his wife telling me every day that they were running off together & worse, they lived in a caravan in a barn on the farm, maybe, the “gun-dog man” as well, but I think that all this came a little later, I may be wrong – all is in her “tow”. She couldn’t continue this harassment very publicly, as her Public type of Divorce that she chose (not necessary, having no children – “childless marriage”!); it would not have been allowed to go through if there was “coercion”! She maintained a bullying stance for some considerable time, though only very privately against me, she only knows what those tactics were, but were on occasion life threating (when being physically assaulted by her, I found that to bare myself was the answer to this – she would back off & the run/go away) there seems to of been no dignity border that she would not cross to harass me & so dangerously: grabbing the wheel of the car from me whilst I was driving to steer into other cars, so on… She would, though, have occasional breakdowns of great pleadings, for this, or that, that added to her outcome of greediness’s (The Settlement). The main thing was to get it all through (esp., for me) so that we could finally separate, so out of tune was she!

So interesting (tantric-fic): quite fascinating to find out, how that she then did survive, in this “state of un-loving, denial, hating & awful lies”, a future unrequited, physical fascination, maybe – “love match” and a lonely 77 Newbury Road (in comparison, with my rather full life of love; a wife of 12 years younger & more pretty than Roie, children & laughter & crying & caring, all the “normal” things). What is 77 Newbury Rd like inside? How is she physically, the “state of mind” (esp., with her) being so important to her general well-being, so to speak… What does she do all day – life being “movement”!? Is she, now, “quite dead” in her “soul”?

Much too “dark”, for me to really “chase after”, but as all the info comes in, the picture “builds up & builds up”!

Many kind regards +++

Charlie
From: celiagollin
Sent: 04 August 2017 16:16
To: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia, Williams.
Subject: Re:

Hi, Charlie,

Thank you for your message.

Yes, why is it that Roie divorced you, but kept your name???!!!
Obvious, in any case, who was strong, but that says it all.
I understand your need to track your assets.
My experience of the negative is just to steer well clear!

My best regards to you, Lizzy, and the Twins,

Celia.

Hi, Charlie, 12/08/2017

Thanks for your two messages.

I have no problem with deepness and find no surprises in what you say, it all just being an extension of what I experienced at Roie’s hands the removal of stuff sneakily in your absence, for example.

In the context of a relationship, many more scenarios for such stuff.

I know I was damaged by my upbringing, but I had no idea how very
damaged Roie was, since, as I’ve said, I was made to feel completely
inferior to both Roie and Ian, and to their respective lifestyles.

I will write more fully, the past few days I’ve not been following my
normal activities, due to a vet/animal hospital visit, so I am a bit out of kilter. The pet now on the mend, and home, btw.

Warmest thoughts and regards,

Celia.

Hi, Celia (reply 13/08/2017)

I hope that all is well, animals can be most heartbreaking. I’m very pleased that the animal is on the mend.

The squirrelling of Roie’s accounts for her secretiveness (being found out; if articles are displayed and then gloated/ the “self-appraisals of cleverness” upon at home) and the self-induced loneliness that she must really suffer from.

I think that she seriously must have, underestimated the intelligence of the people that she has squirrelled from. Mostly such minor things, but all those things having an emotional attachment – thus a rather puerile excitement for her and amongst her friends that she discloses this to as some sort of one up man-ship that carries weird favours/showing off. + all the lies!

A particularly nasty trait!

Many kind regards +++

Charlie.

Hi, Charlie, 12/08/2017

Thanks for your two messages.

I have no problem with deepness and find no surprises in what you say, it all just being an extension of what I experienced at Roie’s hands the removal of stuff sneakily in your absence, for example.

In the context of a relationship, many more scenarios for such stuff.

I know I was damaged by my upbringing, but I had no idea how very
damaged Roie was, since, as I’ve said, I was made to feel completely
inferior to both Roie and Ian, and to their respective lifestyles.

I will write more fully, the past few days I’ve not been following my
normal activities, due to a vet/animal hospital visit, so I am a bit out of kilter. The pet now on the mend, and home, btw.

Warmest thoughts and regards,

Celia.

Hi, Celia 16/08/2017
I’m glad that you are alright with “deep”, the “50 Shades” stuff (On 1 August 2012, Amazon UK announced that it had sold more copies of Fifty Shades of Grey than it had the entire Harry Potter series combined, making E. L. James its best-selling author, replacing J. K. Rowling, though worldwide the Harry Potter series sold more than 450 million copies compared with Fifty Shades of Grey’s sales of 60 million copies https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey )
After 25 years being away from Roie, I can go a little deeper – It all had became extremely dangerous! I could have ended up in Prison for her wrongful accusations of rape; Committed for life, due to the her/supposed mental breakdown that was just tiredness, due to the antics and menaces that were going on at the Farm; being set upon violently by Roie at the Farm and whilst driving, having her alone with me in a vehicle, where she found it very convenient (private) to “fight with me”!
Of course, our peers (the older generations) did not have the “pill” and so called “free love” and “sex aid amusement shops” or any of “your superbly challenging music” (for them) – taking it deeper – the accusation that Roie made (rape) was about a week after we had received a package from an “Ann Summers Sex Shops”. It contained duo-balls (masturbatory aid for females), a new “sex vibrator”, “massage cream”; we both enjoyed a particularly fun and satisfactory sex session with all those aides. She mentioned to me that it would be fun for her to be taken by “surprise” at some time – this was, I was to find out, the “lead on” to this nasty and unforgivable accusation (where no “penetration” took place, dare I say this, just nakedness, without any fulfilment) and her public cry of rape on the Farm to her friends. I obviously, felt very bad (“freaked me out”) about this, although I knew, and maybe, some of the others did that this accusation was not at all true!
This dreadful “Era of our (combined) PTSD” coming to fruition, so to speak, and at a time of myself being about 40 years old and Roie only a few years younger, was seriously very dangerous, and so massively chaotic!
It could all be in “50 Shades”, but we had no “Safe Word”. In any case, it remains today, relatively, all very unimportant as there were “no children involved”, but all is just so very costly in £, and all was so very badly miss-managed (but, out and away, and as quickly as possible for me, was undoubtedly the best thing to do!
What had also added to this ghastly PTSD was the rather immature (looking/young) boy, the “dressage rider/trainer” and his wife; his wife, going on and on, about his supposed adulterous relationship with Roie at the smallest of opportunities; whilst he and his wife, lived in a caravan, in one of our farm’s barns – the ménage à trois! The young wife left the little “pipsqueak”, eventually, for some pastures new!
Many regards +++
Charlie

Hi, Charlie, 16/08/2017

Roie took childhood books of mine – the ones I was trying to regain that day I came over – and the rocking horse, that was mine and Merial’s, the day before I was due to collect my belongings from Walton. I rather let that one go – the rocking horse – as I knew I would
never succeed in getting it back, and, anyway, Roie could probably give it a better home.

Tiny is much better now, thanks to the Blue Cross. She had bad gum disease and had to have a dental. But, sod’s law, just as she really improved, her brother Tommy showed signs of having the same condition. I wouldn’t mind, but they are both feral cats, and won’t let me approach until they get really bad. So it is now nerve-wracking, waiting for Tommy to get to that stage, knowing he is in pain, and can’t eat, and needs to be treated without delay.

Typically, it has happened just when I have rather a lot on my plate, and when I’ve not needed to go to a vet for several years!

I’ll have more time to write in due course.

I do hope all is well with you, fingers crossed for the exam results!

Best thoughts and regards,

Celia.

Hi, Reply 17/08/2017

We have two feral cats from the RSPCA – always a very great worry, they disappear for days out in the country, but come back after a few days, even if it is wet: bone dry & well??!!

Terrible, “unnormal” in the “empathetic regions” this dreadful squirreling of Roie’s (past??, I have a feeling that it would get much worse with age!).

Exams = “One” is away to “UNI” + “Gap Year?” & “One” has another year at “School” by choice – what a boost!

I will think about this more when we have settled down a bit (the humans that is).

Many regards +++

Charlie

To Celia – The half-sister @ R Williams, Common Farm, Andover Road, Wash Water, Newbury, RG20 0LS ???

To Celia,

“The Enormity” – “Menaces” – “More Than 50 Shades” – “More Costly” (nearly).

A “serial liar” who made a series of bogus sexual assault allegations against 15 men has been jailed.

One allegation led to the conviction of a man who was jailed for seven years.”

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41037826

Sent: 26 August 2017 16:29
Subject: Re: Squirrelling, of the Half-sister – (Roie) Rosemary G Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller.
Hi, Charlie,
Walking wounded… Tommy got his own back, did NOT like being picked up… cue A&E, etc!
He’s had his dental, I’m still having treatment!
So forgive the delay in replying!
Good to have your news, I will write more in due course, once my hand, hopefully, recovers!
Have a great Bank Holiday weekend,
Very best regards to you, Lizzy, and the Twins,
Celia.
P.S. And regards to your two little rescued feline ferals! Re: Squirrelling of the Half-sister – (Roie) Rosemary G Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller.
Reply
Today, 16:32
Celia Gollin
Hi,
The same!
Many Regards+++
Charlie & Family.
Tokophobia affects 14% of pregnant women worldwide according to a recent study – but what is it?
It’s a fear of pregnancy and childbirth that can affect some women so badly, according to hypnotherapist and hypnobirthing instructor Rena Gough, that they “avoid pregnancy at all costs” http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/health-41089134/i-help-women-who-are-terrified-of-childbirth
To: Celia Gollin
Your, Half-sister – (no family – “support”???, where is, “Ian Maxwell-Muller” (Broseley) – “on her own”? “aged lonely”, a “very great worry”!?)
@ 192 dot com – Rosemary G Williams,
Newbury Road, Newbury, RG20 4TA. Morag Buchanan, Dawn H Crockford, Norman J Crockford, Colin J Crockford – 2002-03.
Rosemary G Williams,
Age Guide: 56-60, 77 Newbury Road, Newbury Road, RG20 4SU – 2004-05
“O wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
That has such people in’t.”
William Shakespeare, The Tempest, Act V, Scene I, ll. 203–206
Holy Shit
“I was reading Homer’s ‘Odessey’ & especially the return of Odysseus” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer – She was reading “Mills & Boon & The Perfumed Garden”!
Mills & Boon
REVENGE
To: Celia Gollin (“Asset Hunting” – 25 Yrs on Nov 2018).
Your, Half-sister – (no family, friends – “support”???, where is, “Ian R Maxwell-Muller” (Broseley) – “on her own”? “age’d lonely”, a “very great worry”!?)
@ 192 dot com – Rosemary G Williams,
Newbury Road, Newbury, RG20 4TA. Morag Buchanan, Dawn H Crockford, Norman J Crockford, Colin J Crockford – 2002-03.
Rosemary G Williams,
Age Guide: 56-60 to over 60 to 2017. 77 Newbury Road, Newbury Road, RG20 4SU – 2004-05 to 2018? What is the history of our (below photos) “heritage assets” & how was it spent or possibly developed (has any good been done with it, so on…)? Who is it going to be inherited by later on, or have you spent it all? What did happen to all the animals & the Farm that Daddy owned, with you, & loved all the animals, & what is their history? Where are you, and are you well, & why did you lie so much to hurt our Daddy? Why do you hide away from everyone & your half-sister Celia Gollin? Where is your brother, Ian Robert Maxwell-Muller? Are you really ill (the past has damaged you, so on…); or are you very happy? Don’t you feel guilty about anything that you did, lie about, or accuse our Daddy of? Don’t you recognise PTSD or are in some form of “denial”?
Chris Amelia 001 (2)
“Thinking outside the box”
Hi Celia (Gollin) 14/09/2017
No news. I do expect “something” before our divorce’s 25th anniversary on Nov 2018!
Every – “menace”, “aberration”, “where or what for”; I’m afraid, can be put down to a severe “Tokophobia”.
The new scientific/psychological papers written on this subject have really made it a “fact”.
Of course, knowledge about this female condition did not really exist in early 1990’s, there were only anecdotes and stories for this now recognized profound psychological condition (it can happen also after pregnancy or giving birth, with more dire consequences).
It does exist in about 1 in 10 females – it is “very problematical for male partners”. I do hope that Roie may have found some respite in Lesbianism, or some form of escapism sexually from her Tokophobia, when her time on the Pill, advised by her GP, had really “run out” in 1990’s (advised by her GP to have children that went down with her so very and extremely badly).
I’m very pleased (somewhat proud) that I was able to remove myself from this dangerous situation that goes “against nature”, as my younger wife Lizzy would say.
Many Regards +++
Charlie

Re: “Thinking outside the box”.
Reply|
Today, 17:54
You
Hi Charlie, thanks for the great photo of the Twins. I hope their plans, post exam results, are going well.
Thanks, also, for your thoughts on the situation re Roie. I doubt Lesbianism is her cup of tea, and I expect she just beat a complete retreat from it all after the menopause. Margaret had tales to tell of difficult births, her first experience being a forceps delivery with Merial. She had such a bad time that my father, she said,
was extremely surprised when she wanted another child. Apparently, my birth was a lot easier. Couple this with the fact Margaret seemed to find having children to be a complete pain in the arse, and it isn’t hard to understand why Roie wasn’t keen on the idea! Owning animals seemed an easier option!
I think Hell will freeze over before you hear from Roie! Having right royally stung you in the divorce, she cannot be free from guilt. Also re all the false accusations. So absurd, to have accused you of rape!
Such an obvious attempt to make you out to be the villain of the piece, in order to extract a maximum divorce settlement.
Warmest thoughts and regards, Celia Gollin.

Re: “Thinking outside the box”.
Reply|
Thu 14/09/2017 19:20
To:
celia gollin
Hi, Celia – thanks for the reply.
All wonderfully “close to the bone”, but I know there is a “soft spot” in the psychology of Roie – accusations of rape without penetration; being, “led astray by her” (she had a “50 Shades” fetish at times, was so very surprising to her that what she said, I should do to her, came to this “half-cocked/baked conclusion”; her using this as a lever, besides, all the other rather pathetic tactics and menaces. Of course, she could have ruined me, had I not had let her get away with a myriad of some very minor concessions, to make her feel very satisfied, and to get the wretched relationship over with her and as soon as possible, however heartbreaking it was (I took all the cash +++).
It did stretch me out a bit, admittedly, but not nearly as much as it has done to her (that is why she wrote to me in 2004)! I dreamt up about the dark place that she inhabits and it reminded me of the compulsory Social Services that we had to do at Millfield, where there were people that we looked after for an afternoon a week all in an unforgettable terrible condition.
I was a top of my Platoon in mastering the “interrogation training” and the “gas chamber”, plus, the “outward bound survival” and was put forward for the SAS that I declined, as a marksman of all weapons in shooting for my Regiment. I did not agree with Northern Ireland’s British Gov politics. I knew that by being trained to kill at a very young age (Shooting Classes at Prep School – winning the All Prep Schools, one year) that I would have to carry this out in Northern Ireland. The Government had spent an amazing amount of money on me and were seriously upset, but I had joined on a “Special Engagement” that had a legal clause loophole that I used to extract myself. Mercenary work was available, but I had the Family Country Estate to manage that was worth such a lot more, without having to participate in lots of horrific nastiness’s. One also had to survive, the “putting downs” given out by our parents (esp., my Mother who had two previous children that lived with us and were given more quarter) at this time, very much like you, had to do!
Many Regards
Charlie

From: celia gollin
Sent: 16 September 2017 15:50
To: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia, Williams.
Subject: Re: “Thinking outside the box”.

Hi, Charlie, it seems to me that Roie occupies a very bleak space, thanks to the rather emotionally bleak landscape of our Upbringing. I thought it was only me that suffered, but all you have said has revealed that she did not escape.
It is a thankless place to be, and I have no real idea of how she copes with it. I expect she buries it, as Margaret did.
No doubt the buck had to stop somewhere, and that is why we have not had children. Otherwise, it would have
continued ad infinitum down yet more generations.
Interesting that we went through the same thing of having others preferred over us, you with the two preceding,
me with the two following.
Seems like Roie had no idea of what she was up against, being so used to bullying her way through, having no idea
of any other way. Obviously utterly out of her depth, and not knowing it. I inherited the same thickness with a twist –
I know when I am outstripped and know also I lack the wherewithal to deal with it! Tragic!
Incredibly impressive stuff, your accomplishments, and very wise to decide to avoid the undoubted nastinesses –
both at home, and abroad!
Best and warmest regards to you, Lizzy and the Twins,
Celia.

My REPLY
Hi,
Thanks for this, again, I will need some more time to think.
I’m involving the Crockford’s (big farmers – lots of young ones, I believe they didn’t like the hitch-up that’s why she cut out 2003-2004. I used to shoot in their Downs & I have contacts in the very bitchy “Horsey World” in that area) at Pitchorn Farm, an old address of Roie’s; a Social Service “up-take” may be required (“poor thing”!). Lizzy works in the Government!
I think that (my/our) Assets went in this direction???
Ian, I have Skype’d, but he refuses to acknowledge. He may have some very serious problems too!
I don’t feel like getting any closer, but the kids may be fascinated, later on; where everything went, so on…???
Packard Cars (the original source of “Capital”) are still going strong & I get lots of inquiries about spare parts, models imported by my Grandfather, so on…
Many regards, family +++
Charlie
PN. I never expected to live with 2 teenagers at 65 Yrs old – more than a challenge, the “iGEN Generation” from 2012, when it came out – most odd!

From: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia, Williams.
Sent: 17 September 2017 19:21
To: Lenny
Subject: Fun!!!

Hi,
In the home of the “Norman’s & Knight Templar’s” (amazing – Chris loved Sardinia on his School Trip a few years ago).
If holed up for long – get some fun in! Kat’s flying out, she was in Menorca last year & took the kids out for their first club night. Concert a complete sell-out!
My reply to Kat Minter on Facebook – +++ someone that I write to nearly every week (she is 70+, Lizzy doesn’t mind & knows) her younger half-sister was my ex-wife! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8_915QtQgE & in the Stranglers / Blockheads (a music teacher to some famous ones/bands from Millfield – she was badly ostracised by her family, like I was by my ex-wife’s family, with lies & menaces, costing us both an amazing amount of dosh).
Set the controls for the heart of the Sun (“Old Tart Land” for you & me)!
Love
C & all in Dorch.

Such a shame!

agg

Williams. Livestock Farm. Common Farm … Norman J Crockford. Arable FarmsPitchorn FarmNewbury RoadNewburyBerkshireRG20 4TA. R Williams. Livestock Farm. Common Farm, Andover Road, Newbury, Berkshire, RG20 0LS. Company Name R WilliamsCompany address Common Farm, Andover Road, Wash Water, Newbury, Berkshire, RG20 0LS

Phone number 01635-42459

Year of Establish 04.

Category Farmers

Classification Farming – Livestock & Other Animals.
R Williams

Common Farm
Berkshire
RG20 0LS
Read more at https://www.mylocalservices.co.uk/R+Williams-Newbury-303434.html#agp917WArJdWvu2i.99

From: celia gollin
Sent: 22 September 2017 15:37
To: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia, Williams.
Subject: Re: “Thinking outside the box”.

Hi, Charlie,

You mention a Social Service “uptake” – do you mean Roie needed to go on benefits?
I knew John’s two children were not keen on Roie – they regarded her as a gold digger.
You mention she split up with John in 2003/4, which explains the letter to you in 2004.

I don’t believe Roie has the ability to admit fault in anything. Like, if she shouts loud enough, it will somehow ‘prove’ she is in the right, and it will obliterate all opposition. Who knows?
Much good wishes,
Celia.

REPLY
Hi, Celia
I just feel slightly guilty that I didn’t do enough to help her. I had, unaware third parties against me, though I tried to get rid of them, the best that I could at the time.
She, also, rejected fiercely my help, but the symptoms were brewing up, getting worse and some Dr Consultants seen.
A friend is riding very nr Kingsclere, next weekend in a competition. I don’t have much “heart” in finding out anything though!
Who was supplying the gold, it may be, “menaced”, viciously, again – by, either side?
Roie, no benefits, but “psycho/mental – supporting”!
Many regards +++
Charlie

Such amazing fun, satire, to be had in the UK – Everyone in the EU & the (sad) whole rest of the World, should move in to watch the most spectacular of “total bollocks”, first hand that has now so welcomely returned, being in a complete absence from our Little Bitty Islands for more than just a few hundred years. It’s May in Florence (Magic Roundabout), Alice (Wonderland) May of Brexit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMpu8jH1LE8
Unfortunately, we have been preoccupied with lots of much more serious and such very boring stuff; like in the building of an Empire and then giving it all away! And, so very busy listening, very intently to the topical songs of the day – like this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4OS17lqHiE

Of course, you trusted them, but, “Beware The Total Bollocks” – your mother & father, brothers & sisters, teachers & peers, so on… 1960’s – “Those Born Of The Vicious Lot” – ‘Mother’s little helper’ returns as drug-takers use more Valium as cheap alternative to heroin (+ Alcohol) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfGYSHy1jQs “Desperate For Cash” / Did “They” Try It Out On You? – Sibling Sympathy / Family Plot” – “The Screw-Balls” & “The Moronic Plot” & “The Gov Plot” – “Is Global Warming Real”? Not if your classed as a “Moron” & are “stupid enough” to believe in the “Experts” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9bk2MrMGaA. Helping with the ‘Learning Disabled’, give them a “Test” – an “IQ Test” will do (for anyone, in fact, even those with a UNI Degree. i.e., Post Grads in the USA)! Tell them that their score was really low (“moronic”, even) & that they will “never come to much”. Then tell other’s (Mother’s/Fathers/Relations), they, the ones tested given purposely (maliciously, so on…) “low results”, tried and did commit suicide (problems for the rest of their lives – “self-esteem”). Has it been done to you – a “duff-test” – or only in the 1950’s for gain. Those tests seem very popular now & coming out of the “Psycho Babble Culture” in the USA – MAKING LOTS OF MONEY! Has anything like this been tried out on you, or your family – is “Profiling” nearly the same & is it susceptible to many “easy menaces”? They know who they are; Educationalists (poss, extra money, so on…); Employers (poss, – “who don’t want you”; Family (poss, – money to screw out of a third party, so on…); Experts (poss, the Psycho Programme sales, so on…); Government (poss, to Dumb-you-down about “something”, so on…).

Hooked on – What is the reality? “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away” Philip K Dick (Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?). The wonderful book “iGEN”, it’s where we are going! Can’t stop emails with Celia Gollin, we have chatted together almost once a week for a year, so very interesting! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8_915QtQgE Can’t stop emails with Celia, we have chatted together almost once a week for a year, so interesting!, (she taught music for many after Millfield, including your famous friend – a real rebel, over 70 now, Lizzy doesn’t mind!

Bollocks

Hi, Charlie, 30/09/2017

And surely no need to feel any guilt. You say yourself you tried to help her, but in my experience, people can only be helped if they acknowledge they need help and want to take that help on board.

Roie clearly wasn’t ready to admit she had a problem. I would be fascinated to know how she is doing and partly curious as to what. Both she and Ian were so brainwashed by Margaret, into rejecting me.

Neither of them, sadly, will ever get beyond that, as also because of guilt at the way they treated me.

They don’t know how to deal with it.

What you have been telling me is a revelation – I bought the propaganda hook, line and sinker.

It has helped me more than I can possibly say. I now realise I was as brainwashed as they were.

I was made to feel I was the lowest of the low, and it severely affected my confidence.

Realising that Roie had problems of which I was completely unaware has shattered their carefully constructed version of events. I now feel I never had the chance to get to know Roie as she really is.

I wish I could help her, but honestly believe, from what I do know of her, that she would never admit to having any problems. Margaret was the same. It took me ages to realise that. But it didn’t occur to me that Roie had problems, because she had two secure parents and a sibling, and therefore had not got such issues, I assumed. And also because I had never had the opportunity to get to know her.

Sheer curiosity means I would love to know how she is, and what she is doing! Maybe I have a sadly human desire to be told she is not doing very well, because of the way she – and they – treated me!

Many best regards to you, Lizzie, her sister, and the Twins,

Celia Gollin.

Dangerous, “It could make you sick” –  “Coercive control is a strategy some people use to dominate their intimate partners—mostly men over women (fear of childbirth, in this case is, “Tokophobia”). It’s not just bossiness; it’s domination.”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/invisible-chains/201606/when-relationship-makes-you-sick

Hi,

Working on this – it’s terribly interesting. Also, having some real life (if not, “real”, deceased) “Ghosts” to think about!
No one does not have some “trail” – they have tried to avoid this (massively). A most interesting aberration!
In all my experiments exploring the “constructs”, trying to keep up with the iGENS (my kids and younger friends).
Or, at least to have “some knowledge” & not “poo-pooing everything” in my older age, that for sure, will be a sign, of my increasing senility & decrepitness!

How do you move forward?
The important thing to remember is that when someone ghosts you, it says nothing about you or your worthiness for love and everything about the person doing the ghosting. It shows he/she doesn’t have the courage to deal with the discomfort of their emotions or yours, and they either don’t understand the impact of their behaviour or worse don’t care. In any case, they have sent you an extremely loud message that says: I don’t have what it takes to have a mature healthy relationship with you. Be the better person, retain your dignity, and let him/her go peacefully.

Don’t allow someone else’s bad behaviour to rob you of a better future by losing your vulnerability and shutting yourself off from another relationship. Keep your energy focused on doing what makes you happy. Know that if you are someone who treats people with respect and integrity – then the ghoster simply wasn’t on your wavelength and someone better is coming your way, as long as you keep your heart open and your focus forward https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much

I’m sure that, eventually, all will be revealed, at least, I’m, an “open-book”. How horrible & very sad, it must be, not to “BE”; in this fascinating (electrified) modern world. All sorts of contention comes from my relationship with the Maxwell-Muller family. Thank goodness that we had no children, the marriage/breakup, no more, than a friendship ending. The sex & the “suppose-ed love”; no more than a (silly – childish) plaything (the world that they live in now, it seems)!

Many kind regards +++

Charlie & Family.

To Celia, accused.me.uk – Falsely accused of rape or sexual assault? How dangerous is this (the – “scary – blame-game”)! You know who you are! This, the – “scary – blame-game”! You know who you are!

“F.uck Off (all the “Maxwell-Muller” – “ers”) – To “Manoel Island”. Rosemary (Roie) Gillian Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller + Ian R Maxwell-Muller (10 Nov 2016 – It certainly looks like the death of local planning in Ludlow. We have … Sorry, I’m not up on planning processes. regards, Ian Maxwell-Muller). http://www.sailsunsea.com/index.htm. The best goodbyes ever; cost a lot (in the short term); “too old”; childless – the lot; at the “end of their line” – so very (terribly) sad, fading away, so slowly, then to “nowt”, goes their “zeroed heritage”!

Minutes – Ludlow Chamber of Trade – Annual General Meeting
5pm Tuesday 28th April 2009 Ludlow College Refectory
Present:
Ian Maxwell-Muller.
Apologies:
Chris Adams- St Leonards Press
Minutes:
of 2008 were circulated and approved
Chairman’s Report
Ian Maxwell Muller spoke about a year where a number of projects had been
successfully completed including the very well received Ludlow Independent Shops
‘Shopping Guide’, and the reprint of the Ludlow Map. He thanked Tish for all her hard
work. The guide had brought in new members to the Chamber.

Hi, (to: Celia Gollin, 20/10/2017.

I have heard that “Ian Robert Maxwell-Muller” is deceased & on the Internet (Ludlow, Shropshire), but this particular source is unreliable (I think/don’t know???), their, “Ghosting Antics” (possibly) is, Ian Maxwell-Muller, The Russett, The Old Orchard, Temeside, Ludlow, Shropshire, SY8 1JW. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvfBmc-UD4k_9tR2NoLigag/featured

Enclosed, all that we can do, quote (if required).

Christopher & Amelia, their Heritage, gives them & I, “something” to be very proud of – I can’t really see that the full biological brother & sister have anything?!

Many kind regards +++

Love

Hi, Charlie, 21/10/2017

My gut ‘half-sisterly’ feeling is that Ian is alive and well! But thanks for telling me.

One person who would know is my cousin, the daughter of my father’s older brother,

She was invited to my mother’s funeral and does the family tree. But, as I’ve said, I very much doubt it is true, going by Ian’s general health, and lifestyle. Thanks for the heartening quote!

Many kindest regards,

Celia.

How, “CRANKY”? – “The self, however, is a living organism (evolutionary – nature/naturism/naturist) and refuses to be denied without a struggle (fetishes – voluntary childlessness, denials, lies, so, on…). Conscious devotion to the external idea is balanced by an unconscious development of the self-regarding tendencies (for the mind, like the body, preserves its equilibrium only because its parts live in a perpetual state of `hostile symbiosis’). The crank begins to sacrifice himself/herself to his idea for personal motives (acquisitions, so, on…). The outlawed elements of the personality have revenged themselves upon the idea; but in revenging themselves they have caused the idea to be more tenaciously and violently (pursued), because more egotistically (psychotically, so, on…), held than ever. If someone doubts the truth of the idea, it is a personal insult (gradually – becomes). A conversion to the idea is a personal triumph. At a later stage, the unconscious may carry its counter-attack even further; the crank begins to develop a secret doubt of his/her absolute. The doubt is consciously overcompensated, and the belief becomes fanatical” A Huxley. Personal – The Ending Of 40 Years of Admonishment & Disenfranchisement & Domestic Abuses.
https://beta.companieshouse.gov.uk/company/02990149/officers

len

7 persons (thus far) @ Christmas 2017 (Charles & Lizzy, Lenny & Cathleen, Christopher & Amelia + Ann) Manor Cottage, Church Lane, Bradford Peverell, Dorchester Dorset, DT2 9SB http://www.dorsetlife.co.uk/2009/03/bradford-peverell/

‘ESCAPE TO MANOEL ISLAND’ 1992-93 MALTA

From: Celia Gollin (Rosemary G Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller (the maternal half-sister).
Sent: 16 September 2017 15:50
To: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia.
Subject: Re: “Thinking outside the box”.

Hi, Charlie, it seems to me that Roie occupies a very bleak space, thanks to the rather emotionally bleak landscape of our Upbringing. I thought it was only me that suffered, but all you have said has revealed that she did not escape.

It is a thankless place to be, and I have no real idea of how she copes with it. I expect she buries it, as Margaret did.

No doubt the buck had to stop somewhere, and that is why we have not had children. Otherwise, it would have continued ad infinitum down yet more generations.
Interesting that we went through the same thing of having others preferred over us, you with the two preceding, me with the two following.

Seems like Roie had no idea of what she was up against, being so used to bullying her way through, having no idea of any other way. Obviously utterly out of her depth, and not knowing it. I inherited the same thickness with a twist – I know when I am outstripped and know also I lack the wherewithal to deal with it! Tragic!

Incredibly impressive stuff, your accomplishments, and very wise to decide to avoid the undoubted nastinesses – both at home and abroad!

Best and warmest regards to you, Lizzy and the Twins,
Celia.

“Heritage For The Twins” (1993 Packard Cars).

Maxwell-Muller, The Russett, The Old Orchard, Temeside, Ludlow, Shropshire, SY8 1JW Maxwell-Muller, The Russett, The Old Orchard, Temeside, Ludlow, Shropshire, SY8 1JW https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvfBmc-UD4k_9tR2NoLigag/featured All M-M’s are “Ghosting”, why??? Ref, Celia Gollin (Daddy’s correspondence 2016-2017 – Packard Cars, “The English Connection”. Chris & Amelia, W’s, a: bona fide/good/natural ? For – our Daddy (Charlie) & it comes from them, the ? “Where has my heritage gone to”? (notes, from Celia, “Yours, M-M’s, seems to of been realised, over the years; with all the unforgivable & bad untruths that are publicly told by..?, about our Daddy”. Is this, the: WHY??? Or, some other secretive, possibly phobic (ref, Celia Gollin) issue? Crimballed-up-your-Crumble?! “Doolally comes from British army slang, originating when Deolali was a British army transit camp in India. Doolally tap meant being mad, crazy or literally, suffering from camp fever. Tap in English is malarial fever, from the Hindi for fever.”

“Benefactoral” (agreed at) £150,000.00++ Christopher, & £150,000.00++ Amelia (losses at £300,000.00 total), from their “heritage”, being Packard Cars “The English Connection”, the original source of capital (in support of the above, after 1993) The (undisclosed – inclusions of “capital” after 1993) from (their mother) Margaret Beryl Maxwell-Muller and, (their maternal uncle) Dr Stanley Wood – seems to be, somewhat, quite fair, see: conversations 2016-2017 between Charles Williams & Celia Gollin.

Riding 2 001 (2).jpg

Very funny, but so very sad it all really was! Charlie & Fred – Nov HT. At the max, up, up, and then, away 1990’s. At least, after all the ghastlinesses of 1992-1993 & The Maxwell-Mullers. Ref, Rosemary G Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller, how, dreadfully awful it all was! “The Bachelor Pad” – Calumny. Recovering From “Menaces & Thieving & Cheating”! Ref, Conversations with Celia Gollin 2016-2017, the half-sister, see, “comments”. https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2F778806387%2Fposts%2F10154031200611388%2F&width=500

The Sealife Centre, Weymouth, 2001 approx. All the grandparents, so very proud! 2001. Mummy & Daddy & The Twins! Kids 1 001 (2)

December 2017, Getting started at long last, on the “Photo Albums” (10 + Albums + Videos https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd1_JerKvNg2LIpSgrA8hfg?view_as=subscriber ) after most of 2016 to 2017 is very fully taken up (my spare-time), with the correspondence started by Celia Gollin (their, “Half-sister” – “shit-stirrer”) about the protecting my “honour & heritage & finances”. Rosemary Gillian Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller (a weird and “unfair letter” from her, Roie, in 2003-2004), Ian Maxwell-Muller, + all the “Others” (Robert Pring, Dressage) – a terrible miscalculation of a “GREAT EVILNESS & CALUMNY” by “them” in 1993.

A Pre-history of such very low importance and unbounded superficiality up to 1993 and its consequent appaling “Ghostings” to date 2017 – “sterility & cowardliness”. May they all return back into the “Darkness” (esp, in my own mind, from their, more than deceitful, hatefully, fully recorded – “BEASTLY EFFORTS” of pre-1993). Less than five years, riding a horse through the desert with no name – can’t be too bad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQzW6wz2JQk !

Into the “Light”, so to speak, now we all do go, with all those Photo Album Pages of 1999 ON WARDS & forgetting all about the past, at least 5 yrs of it. “REVENGE = MY JUST IN TIME / WONDERFUL SUCCESS”! Photos – Skiing 2004 (kids aged 5, with my own family) https://plus.google.com/u/0/collection/gE44VE