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‘ESCAPE TO MANOEL ISLAND’ 1992 MALTA

From: celia gollin
Sent: 16 September 2017 15:50
To: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia, Williams.
Subject: Re: “Thinking outside the box”.

Hi, Charlie, it seems to me that Roie occupies a very bleak space, thanks to the rather emotionally bleak landscape of our Upbringing. I thought it was only me that suffered, but all you have said has revealed that she did not escape.
It is a thankless place to be, and I have no real idea of how she copes with it. I expect she buries it, as Margaret did.
No doubt the buck had to stop somewhere, and that is why we have not had children. Otherwise, it would have continued ad infinitum down yet more generations.
Interesting that we went through the same thing of having others preferred over us, you with the two preceding, me with the two following.
Seems like Roie had no idea of what she was up against, being so used to bullying her way through, having no idea of any other way. Obviously utterly out of her depth, and not knowing it. I inherited the same thickness with a twist – I know when I am outstripped and know also I lack the wherewithal to deal with it! Tragic!
Incredibly impressive stuff, your accomplishments, and very wise to decide to avoid the undoubted nastinesses – both at home, and abroad!
Best and warmest regards to you, Lizzy and the Twins,
Celia.

My REPLY
Hi,
Thanks for this, again, I will need some more time to think.
I’m involving the Crockford’s (big farmers – lots of young ones, I believe they didn’t like the hitch-up that’s why she cut out 2003-2004. I used to shoot in their Downs & I have contacts in the very bitchy “Horsey World” in that area) at Pitchorn Farm, an old address of Roie’s; a Social Service “up-take” may be required (“poor thing”!). Lizzy works in the Government!
I think that (my/our) Assets went in this direction???
Ian, I have Skype’d, but he refuses to acknowledge. He may have some very serious problems too!
I don’t feel like getting any closer, but the kids may be fascinated, later on; where everything went, so on…???
Packard Cars (the original source of “Capital”) are still going strong & I get lots of inquiries about spare parts, models imported by my Grandfather, so on…
Many regards, family +++
Charlie
PN. I never expected to live with 2 teenagers at 65 Yrs old – more than a challenge, the “iGEN Generation” from 2012, when it came out – most odd!

From: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia, Williams.
Sent: 17 September 2017 19:21
To: Lenny
Subject: Fun!!!

Hi,
In the home of the “Norman’s & Knight Templar’s” (amazing – Chris loved Sardinia on his School Trip a few years ago).
If holed up for long – get some fun in! Kat’s flying out, she was in Menorca last year & took the kids out for their first club night. Concert a complete sell-out!
My reply to Kat Minter on Facebook – +++ someone that I write to nearly every week (she is 70+, Lizzy doesn’t mind & knows) her younger half-sister was my ex-wife! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8_915QtQgE & in the Stranglers / Blockheads (a music teacher to some famous ones/bands from Millfield – she was badly ostracised by her family, like I was by my ex-wife’s family, with lies & menaces, costing us both an amazing amount of dosh).
Set the controls for the heart of the Sun (“Old Tart Land” for you & me)!
Love
C & all in Dorch.

Such a shame!

agg

From: celia gollin
Sent: 22 September 2017 15:37
To: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia, Williams.
Subject: Re: “Thinking outside the box”.
Hi, Charlie,
You mention a Social Service “uptake” – do you mean Roie needed to go on benefits?
I knew John’s two children were not keen on Roie – they regarded her as a gold digger.
You mention she split up with John in 2003/4, which explains the letter to you in 2004.
I don’t believe Roie has the ability to admit fault in anything. Like, if she shouts loud enough, it will somehow ‘prove’ she is in the right, and it will obliterate all opposition. Who knows?
Much good wishes,
Celia.
REPLY
Hi, Celia
I just feel slightly guilty that I didn’t do enough to help her. I had, unaware third parties against me, though I tried to get rid of them, the best that I could at the time.
She, also, rejected fiercely my help, but the symptoms were brewing up, getting worse and some Dr Consultants seen.
A friend is riding very nr Kingsclere, next weekend in a competition. I don’t have much “heart” in finding out anything though!
Who was supplying the gold, it may be, “menaced”, viciously, again – by, either side?
Roie, no benefits, but “psycho/mental – supporting”!
Many regards +++
Charlie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y0W9b_r7nU “THE ENORMITY” – Of course, without a social conscience (over half my inheritance from, Packard Cars ‘The English Connection’) & in this unfair world, when Rosemary (Roie) G Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller, wrote to me in 2004 to inform me of the death of her Mother and her inheriting a large amount of money & possibly more (later on the death of her Uncle Dr Stanley Wood & inheriting an income for life). She didn’t realise (no social conscience) that but was well informed of the birth and age of my twins Christopher & Amelia. The twins have received so much less from their heritage, Packard Cars ‘The English Connection’ UK, than they would have done! NB ‘original source of capital’ – improvements to the Farm – my Parent’s ‘income in old age’ (arguments and her ‘opposition’ to increase it with time passing; after the Divorce she neglects this (Lenny and I pick up the ‘tab’ willingly) – vast purchases of expensive animals & other things (on a monthly basis – weird: hormonal?) ‘over-excitements’, my time wasted by doing the never ending of DIY jobs, so, on.., & so forth… Life to music – Hippy, “Mashed Your Head To F.ck”! Our home – 1992 – Westbrook Hall Farm, Nr Horsham, West Sussex

Life to music – Hippy, “Mashed Your Head To F.ck – “cock-teasing” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cock_tease and GBH to make an accusation of ‘rape for gain’ – Dastardly – Synonym Discussion of dastardly – cowardly, pusillanimous, craven, dastardly mean having or showing a lack of courage. cowardly implies a weak or ignoble lack of courage. (a cowardly failure to stand up for principle) pusillanimous suggests a contemptible lack of courage.! Our home – 1992 – Westbrook Hall Farm, Nr Horsham, West Sussex https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y0W9b_r7nU&list=PLh-63pjcArW_hXFcZev5jj1Fsxouie84b Removed from me (including – heartbreaking – all the animals and 3 years of hard labour + cash to improve the property and in the buying & looking after our animals) by a Consent Order, Chichester County Court 92 D 45 1993 the ‘Divorce Petitioner, Mrs Rosemary Gillian Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller. No news of what has happened to any of those animals has been forthcoming, so far? Or that of the Petitioner. My wife and my children (18-year-old twins) would like to find out, as it is a serious part of their heritage ‘Packard Cars The English Connection’, UK, & ‘that all’ has not been wasted’! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwYX52BP2Sk. No communication about the fate & life of those animals has quite unforgivably been denied to me over the last 25 years! There are other photos and videos – raunchy ‘turn on’ ones that certainly ‘turned her on more fully’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeZqjZ_kvLY ; maybe, that was what she was worried about, making children? But finally, it made her go very, very ‘soured’! She must, with age and if ?? “NORMAL” !!, wish to ‘take a trip’ with me back in time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQcBwE6j09U – Pink Floyd – Hey You That would be very dangerous, deserving some great trust – ‘Fifty Sades Of Grey’ (style). Of course, an allowance from me would have to be sought out from her; as far as I can see – she has had no children (through an incompetence – ‘Schizoid Tokophobia’) and therefore very immature in life’s ‘conjugal matters’! (for the having of children, somewhat, can be a very great effort and dedication, having to be made, very certainly by both the parties concerned). LOST ON YOU (this – all: poor thing!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDjeBNv6ip0

‘Corruption & Deceit In The UK’s Divorce Law’ – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQcBwE6j09U (I like the music) My (loving?) wife slopes up to me sheepishly, “To get my divorce (which is public) with you, we have to make (even, ‘make up’ reasons) for your ‘unreasonable behaviour’, very much worse than it really is to get the divorce and a financial settlement of your ‘heritage assets’; the ‘original source of Capital’ of yours, through the Divorce Court – basically, I want your money & I’m prepared to divorce you for this, although, I may still possibly even love you”! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No-fault_divorce “The Blame Game” (morally outdated & indefensible a bad example of bigotry ‘Shame & Honour’ antics, mainly religious motivated – backwardness) – ‘As one of the reasons for divorce unreasonable behaviour is the most common ground for divorce in UK divorce law. … behaviour is the method of choice for most couples who want an “instant” divorce in cases where no adultery is involved’. I agreed for a ‘Quickie’ (life, as I understood it, is far too short to waste any time & Roie became a serious ‘waste of time’ – as can be seen by my ‘future life’ – after Roie)!

Hi Charlie, 1/04/2017 Thanks for your messages. I only wish I could throw more light, but it is something between you and Roie, known to the two of you alone. Seems like you divorced the wrong half-sister! I can only say I admire how you have dealt with it all. Success, as they say, is the best revenge. Warmest thoughts and regards, Celia. Maxwell-Muller, Ian; Roie Williams (coming totally unstuck so very poor in spirit, with all the ‘ghosts of the past’ & the ‘unforgivable tricks’ – violence; thieving & the vagabonds).
https://twitter.com/luckyme0/status/836228949252444161 “The Mysterious Chronicles” & “Freaky Nature” – “Tokophobia” is a pathological fear of pregnancy and can lead to avoidance of childbirth. It can be classified as primary or secondary. Primary is morbid fear of childbirth in a woman, who has no previous experience of pregnancy. PTSD & Urban (common-inherent) Financial Insecurity & Delaying of Pregnancy. Taboo “Inadequateness…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y0W9b_r7nU&list=PLh-63pjcArW_hXFcZev5jj1Fsxouie84b

Maybe, all was just, “Schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is a personality disorder characterised by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, and apathy.” Remembrance Therapy – The Spring of 1992 started very well with a new £15,000.00 horse from Germany + A delivery in a ‘plain brown package’ from Ann Summers ‘sex toys’; ’50 Shades of Grey’ resulted in our bedroom – great fun! Unproductive, as it was, & by the Summer it was discontent & divorce by the Autumn & a departure to ‘Manoel Island’, Malta by the Winter (25 years ago). “The body guarantees our privacy, that inmost privacy, which we must not attempt to violate under pain of betraying our manhood/womanhood”. (cock-teasing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cock_tease and GBH to make an accusation of ‘rape for gain’ – Dastardly – Synonym Discussion of dastardly – cowardly, pusillanimous, craven, dastardly mean having or showing a lack of courage. cowardly implies a weak or ignoble lack of courage. ( a cowardly failure to stand up for principle) pusillanimous suggests a contemptible lack of courage).
Aye free, aff han’ your story tell,
When wi’ a bosom cronie;
But still keep something to yousel’
Ye scarcely tell to onie. Burns..

Hi Charlie, 13/04/2017

Wishing a happy Easter

to you and your family,

Kindest best regards,

Celia.

Reply – Same – no news, from the ‘Cowards’.

Many regards +++

Charlie & the family W’s.

len

Today, 16:22 23/03/2017
This sender failed our fraud detection checks and may not be who they appear to be. Flag for follow up. Start by 23 March 2017. Due by 23 March 2017.
Hi Charlie,
Thanks for your message. I find people who are self-deluded choose to be so,
as it serves some purpose for them. Having born the brunt of such behaviour from Margaret, Brian, Roie and Ian, I know they never unbend. They seem to live untroubled by any conscience, or obvious outer consequence.
Bullying others is their way of getting through life, but it does, of course, reveal the presence of hidden inner problems that remain unresolved.
Your life sounds so enriched, in contrast to lives lived within such strict limits. Such people are sick, and the only person who can help them is themselves.
It was inevitable you and Roie split because you were healthy, and she was not. We each have our own trajectory, and yours and Roie’s were colliding, instead of going the same way.
Like you, I am tied up at the moment, so a lovely weekend in Dorset is a far off dream! Hopefully one day, and meanwhile, my sympathy to the twins and the dreaded exams, but I am sure they will do well!
Many warmest best regards,
Celia.

Elizabeth (‘new love’ & ‘mother of the twins’).

lizzy-4-2https://plus.google.com/u/0/collection/0HZ3c

Lots of Notes (much is uncorrected & not edited) – Daddy’s Space, ‘The Gutter Or The Stars’ – Progressive family philosophy, ‘The older I get, the more I see people with the need for the ‘subjective’, ref, ‘Aldous Huxley’. ‘Atheistic Mysticism’, fills the ‘gap’; reference; social science; parenting; knowledge; Humanist and Secular; free-thought; love, UK. “In the dawn of our human experience” & “A treasure trove of independent thinking”. Kids, ‘teach your Teachers’.

Reply|Today, 18:06 29/03/2017 This sender failed our fraud detection checks and may not be who they appear to be.

Hi Charlie,

Roie didn’t get any money from Margaret’s house, as it was held in trust for me and my sister under the terms of my father’s will.

I would think news of you filtered through to Roie via Margaret, from likely just normal curiosity. Roie is not one to fall prey to any unscrupulous suitors. She has a decent roof over her head, thanks to you, and an adequate income for life, thanks to Uncle Stanley.

It is a shame your twins lost out on a large chunk of their rightful heritage in the process of such a nasty divorce, but what matters is that now great happiness, richly deserved, is finally yours, with a fantastic life for you and your family.

It is natural you would like to know that Roie is okay, but, rest assured, you can safely suppose she is, bar maybe some health issues.

Hoping this helps you obtain some peace of mind,

Many best thoughts, good wishes, and regards,

Celia.

Hi, Celia

MSN is terrible today and I pay a subscription for this service (for security) – I’m going to try this one out.

I suppose that the family have closure on this matter. Just so weird to of been contacted in 2004 by Roie about Margaret & quite a shock to Lizzy – we were so busy with our twins (they were 5 & the Divorce so long ago in 1992) + the older aged parents; mine had just all departed and Lizzy’s were on their way out (all such a shock to our systems).

The first thing – It’s really is not such fun getting older, but you have reassured me (not that Lizzy & I  could do very much) that things are all managed for want of any better terminology.

The second thing – “vulnerability”, I don’t think that I ever met a person / loved a person with such a hardened exterior, but so very vulnerable internally as Roie. There were in my mind some pretty insensitive, hardened, dare I say quite ‘common people’ floating around the Farm. I suppose being quite particular, even snobby, I found them rather tiresome. Being a “Carer” myself, though “Class” has not much to do with it, but some sort of extended form love given to all, with no prospect of any return, regardless of any typecasting. Of course, it is returned a thousand fold!

The third thing – but what matters, “Is that now great happiness, richly deserved, is finally yours, with a fantastic life for you and your family” – I’m not really sure about this one as many things can be a major and constant challenge, but we may be getting there or at least progressing through our lives as a quite close family of 5 in the house.

We do expect to hear from Dinah one day and Ian. If I do I will let you know, or Roie (even, but somewhat unnecessary now)? The electronic airwaves being especially powerful (they probably always were but in a different form, my “Atheistic Mysticism” of Aldous Huxley’s is coming out to play again)!

Many, many regards to a most loving and very sensible person ++++++ & thanks.

Charlie W

Badminton Horse Trials – Wednesday 3rd May – Sunday 7th May 2017. On Fred doing HT (not Badminton) photo “A Difficult Moment” – 60 HT’s completed (approx) & some on ZoZo after 1993 (before 1993 – Rosemary, “Roie Williams”, nee, Maxwell-Muller, BHSAI; “jealous, useless & windy”) to 2001.

The nicest guy you will ever meet Eventing (he nearly ran into me with one of his young horse at Lulworth HT 1998 approx, so apologetic and gentlemanly) well done ANDREW NICHOLSON, NZL, with Deborah Sellar’s Nereo!

“THE CONCLUSION” (at last)!

Sent: 23 March 2017 16:21
To: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia, Williams.
Subject: RE: Rosemary G Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller, 77 Newbury Road, Kingsclere, RG20 4SU. https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.3314703,-1.2541987,3a,51.7y,217.33h,86.31t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1spd4g8wvVCH7B1wRB9oRjmA!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

Hi Charlie,

Thanks for your message. I find people who are self-deluded choose to be so, as it serves some purpose for them. Having born the brunt of such behaviour from Margaret, Brian, Roie and Ian, I know they never unbend. They seem to live untroubled by any conscience, or obvious outer consequence.

Bullying others is their way of getting through life, but it does, of course, reveal the presence of hidden inner problems that remain unresolved.

Re the Tokophobia issue, I do not believe, having thought about it, that Roie suffered from it.

The source goes a lot deeper. Ian, likewise, did not have children. When you find two women, and one man, within a family, sharing one parent, namely, Margaret, all of whom have chosen to remain childless, then clearly something is going on that is highly unusual. Margaret had a real fear of ageing. We all received the message, loud and clear, that she did not want to become a grandmother. Margaret’s inability to be emotionally available meant that we were all very much in competition for her love and attention. (Roie was intensely jealous of Margaret showing any love for me, and did her best to sabotage my relationship with her. Roie was chronically insecure and extremely ruthless. Hence, ‘hide of a rhinoceros’!) This translated into a constant desire to win Margaret’s love and approval. So we all responded to the hidden command of her unspoken fear. Invoking her displeasure would result in emotional abandonment, an extremely effective deterrent. I can assure you that Roie is fine. It is not in her nature to be able to ‘soften’ towards you because she would then have to climb down from her perch of moral superiority over the divorce. This would mean having to acknowledge certain uncomfortable truths, definitely a step too far. She is okay financially, the house doesn’t look too bad, and has a car outside if I’ve googled the right one, so it is reasonable to think she is not alone and has somebody able to help her if necessary.

This translated into a constant desire to win Margaret’s love and approval. So we all responded to the hidden command of her unspoken fear. Invoking her displeasure would result in emotional abandonment, an extremely effective deterrent. I can assure you that Roie is fine. It is not in her nature to be able to ‘soften’ towards you, because she would then have to climb down from her perch of moral superiority over the divorce. This would mean having to acknowledge certain uncomfortable truths, definitely a step too far. She is okay financially, the house doesn’t look too bad, and has a car outside, if I’ve Googled the right one, so it is reasonable to think she is not alone and has somebody able to help her if necessary.

The computers are about to close, so I’ll send you very best regards and warm wishes,

Celia Gollin

Google+ Post https://plus.google.com/u/0/collection/sgpZ9 Zo Zo in the “West Country 1999 HT” I’m getting older @ 48 yrs – Lizzy’s TB 16.3 Bay Gelding (a privilege to do “Eventing” on with my horse Fred)! Where did all those animals go – did she trash them? Did she ever really care for them? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y0W9b_r7nU With all her health problems and foibles and aberrations and inherent problems (Celia Gollin’s reports & sexualities); how did she really manage? I would have never been allowed by the “Bullies” to ride any of the horses at Westbrook Hall Farm although, having half a lifetime of riding horses, Pony Club Hunting, so, on.., their awful jealousy & selfishness & menaces reigned! Photo my age 11 yrs https://plus.google.com/+CharlesAnthonyLeonardWilliamsluckyme0/posts/Wr6dpHB828F

From: celia gollin
Sent: 02 June 2017 16:28
To: charleslizzy@msn.com

Dear Charlie,

Re the book you recommended, you probably already know about ‘Boarding School Syndrome’, by Joy Schaverien?

Hoping the twins are bearing up in the dreaded exams period – may the farce be with them!!!Best regards,

Best regards,

Celia.

REPLY

Hi, Celia

I’ve bought the book you recommended, but we have all been so busy!

DE-BRIEF

Rosemary didn’t quite realise my overwhelming reaction to her badly thought out moves to ‘oust me’ & ‘gain money with menaces’ & my ‘self-survival instincts’ gained from being at boarding school from the tender age of 7 to 18. What a dreadful person she had progressively (slowly) turned out to be, in (our) marriage!

“Good riddance to bad rubbish”, I say – but it still breaks my heart – so much young/effort/time/money at that time was involved and wasted – more for her though!

My Twins are thinking of sorting all this out “about their great heritage”, but they will probably wait until Rosemary is more decrepit, which must surely happen (as with us all). As I have said before, I would rather not be her for the young are so very (mentally, in this context) strong. She had, after all, put so many brains to work against me – so disgraceful. Looking forward to their results, if I’m still alive!

Many Best Regards

Charlie

Hi, Charlie, 15/06/2017 From Celia Gollin

Thank you for your message and news.

It makes me ashamed to be related.

It is hard to comprehend how Roie could have acted as she did. I never detected anything ‘criminal’ or dubious, in either my mother or Brian. Both seemed upright citizens, who brought us up to be honest, and morally correct. What on earth got into her, I wonder? Brian, in particular, was thoroughly decent and honest in the way he ran his business, almost to a fault. It feels like there was some sort of bad blood in there somewhere, that surfaced in Roie. It is hard to understand why it should all have gone so wrong between you when for so long it was so good. Nothing can diminish the good times you had together, nor take them away. At least you have those memories. For whatever reason, what happened was meant to happen, and has led to better times. I feel essentially sad for Roie, who threw away something so precious, so totally irreplaceable, in exchange for – nothing. For the money and material things are worthless in comparison to a loving marriage.

A removed comment for private reasons (about further action’s)!

Very kindest regards,

Celia.

To Celia 20/06/2017 She (Roie) must be well out of “balance” on some of these but probably compensates in some “weird way”, very interesting to find out what this maybe – age will give her (all of us) the dreams of the past, especially of youth. That is what I went through with Roie – the older you get the more you seem to dream of an illuminated and the youthful highly sensual episodes of one’s past!

Roaring Boys an Whores
While food has flavour and limbs are shapely
And hearts beat bravely to fiddle or drum
Our proper employment is reckless enjoyment
For soon the noiseless night will come. Auden.us

REPLY 22/06/2017 Thanks for that, Charlie! Strains of John Donne… The grave’s a fine and silent place But none I think do there embrace! I have no doubt that Roie sees herself as utterly blameless in what went on, or, at least, can ‘prove’ it to other people. What she is able to admit to herself is another matter, in the dark hours of the night. I can never forgive her for getting my mother to sell Greenacre, all because she didn’t want me to inherit it. She knew it meant everything to me, being my father’s house, and my last remaining link with him. Greenacre was the centre for everyone. Ian used to bring his friends there to mend their motorbikes, hold his annual birthday parties, and generally to hang loose. He was deeply attached to his little room. Greenacre meant security to him. Uncle Colin also felt relaxed there and would breeze in and out every weekend to see Brian, treating it like his second home. Everyone felt relaxed there. Brian had his den there, aka the garage, where he had his own private space and could go and work on his vintage cars. It was an essential hobby for him, especially being unwell, and its loss must have hit him hard. Ian lost his little room, and never used his room at the new house because it wasn’t ‘his’ room. He couldn’t invite his friends over or hold his parties there any longer. Uncle Colin also didn’t feel relaxed going over there, and this must deeply have affected his relationship with Brian. As a result, Ian moved away, and so did Uncle Colin. Their whole way of life just ceased after the move, to a place half a mile down the road, but a million miles away from their life before the move. Things were never the same again. Most affectionate regards, Celia.

From: Celia Gollin
Sent: 23 June 2017 17:43
Hi, Charlie,
Many thanks for your message.
In my experience, some people have no ability to admit they might in any way be at fault.
They bull(y)doze their way over others to get what they want, and are able to justify their every action. Sometimes my anger at Roie rises up, as yesterday. I knew selling Greenacre was a wrong move, and would cause untold damage.
It was so awful knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
It seems part and parcel of what went on in your case.
Total wrongdoing, under the radar.
But balance always rights itself.
Very kindest regards,
Celia.

REPLY
Hi, Celia.
I’m not really sure that I had no part in our divorce as I was getting quite fed up in any case + with all the subterranean (subliminal) & a very real type of “hide depressions & then high highs” type mood swings (monthly, hormonal based) – the psychotic Tokophobia – an early change of life or something other? – gone past her ‘sell by date’ embarrassment’s and her realisation – the great antics (bullying) to compensate (Roie’s)!

I had a thought about the general situation – The after Ist World War effects on their parents – their Era and the W War 11 (my parents were quite damaged). The very sad loss of Merial & your Father – Then Brians terrible Parkinson’s – then Margaret had some heart trouble, so on. The death of Dinah’s Dad, too + Mouse.

My family were not easy and so very selfish and foolish in a lot of respects, maybe yours too (all over compensated and so very frightened by (a “normal”) life + alcohol played a great and strong destructive part (the ghastly hateful rows)! The old adage, if you “can’t do your jumps, give up drinking and your courage will soon return.”

I’m so glad that I just had the time and the good luck to re-generate, so to speak & gave up (nearly all – mostly all) drinking & Pubs.

Nothing you could have done about IT, all just “aggro” – I try not to allow this in our family – Lizzy is somewhat placid and the Twins have learnt from association with people who are very much worse off (our disabled lot). Lizzy and I are both voluntary “Registered Carers”. We have a learning disabled who now lives with us – a bad reaction to some Whooping Cough medicine in the 1950’s – not easy, but so very rewarding, in a strange way – to care and such a very major challenge, but it can be very tiring (Respite we have sometimes, but we never really like to use it + the children are getting very independent, now at 18+)!
Many regards ++++
Charlie

Thank you for your message.

It is almost like Roie used against you the very stuff she had previously defended you against – bullies can come on as rescuers initially, with much sympathy for one’s plight. But when they turn, they do the same shit to you they once deplored when others visited it upon you.

I learned the best revenge, and the greatest benefit for one’s life thereafter is to just WALK AWAY. Thus ridding you of the shit entirely.

No more mindfucks no more emotional windups, no more reacting to them. For when you are reacting, they have the power. As soon as you stop all reaction, they can do nothing. They feed off you because they are weak. They are jealous because you make them feel inadequate. They pick on you when you are vulnerable, and want to feel superior to you because they feel inferior.

They cannot seem to be able to feel good about themselves unless they are putting other people down.
If embroiled in practical stuff with them, it is just a case of getting through it as soon as possible, until there is no more need for contact.

Because, whilst there is any form of contact, you cannot escape the crap. Once free of them, you begin to see how utterly powerless they are without a suitable victim to feed from. They get firmly reduced to size, and you breathe a huge sigh of relief, and move on!

At least, that is what I found! It is wonderful when you reach a point where you genuinely don’t care anymore and have untangled yourself from their emotional tentacles! Such people are master manipulators, that is how they survive. But, once you’ve seen through them, you can finally stop taking it personally and realise they only had power because unwittingly you gave it to them. It was always your power, not theirs, and they wanted to take it from you because they chose not to develop any power of their own. It may not be a conscious choice. But I believe we can all choose to be strong. It isn’t for us, to feel guilty for choosing not to prop these people up, and to choose instead to fulfil our own needs, instead of theirs. Such people are not happy, so they don’t want anyone else to be happy. They are ruthless survivors, at everyone else’s expense and without any contrition or remorse. When you get to the stage of not even wanting any revenge or even any divine retribution, then that is, in fact, the best revenge of all. It is their ability to play on your mind and emotions that give them their kick and if you remove that, they are left with nothing.

Very best regards,

Celia.

28 June 2017 21:05:40
To: Celia Gollin
Subject: Re:

Hi, Celia

You have done something about it – by “realising it all”! I’m getting there – I think!

I had 30 years, say 0-30 of family plots, intrigue and personal menaces conducted (orchestrated) by my parents, more mother, less father, because he went somewhat weakly along with it (Mother was very strong). I was the older Williams heir (she had 2 children from a previous marriage that were in close contact and competing for constant support by the Williams’s)!

Interspersed by some great times for us all!

After, or just before 30 years old meeting Roie. Say 10 years of some respite with Roie batting on my behalf (taking an outsiders view), making her very unpopular. The last thing expected was that at 40 years old she would turn horribly for our last few months together, so very badly with some unreportable and despicable menaces towards me, but our future together, looking from what the life I have had since it would have been very dark; a deep slough of the “most horrible despond” (the excitement of our youth disappearing and being in a childless, nearly sexless marriage) contributing to the great (selfish & ungiving) darkness’s! Then a great light, so to speak, with my (forced by her – or I led her to believe so, at times) escape from Roie that was led by Roie whom very much dirtied herself with those “ghastly menaces”.

Quite impossible to live with those, when she gains full realisation that she has currently put off for so long, some “retribution” is inevitable, but from where it will come from, I don’t really know (internally?, or externally (self-harming accidents, as was before?). Maybe, this has happened by a withdrawal from the world, an invisibility, with her Talmudic cleverness of mind justifying everything (I find it difficult to justify anything – there always seems to be something else that could have been better and I’m open to any suggestions 24hrs x 7days; with the making of some never ending and humanly mistakes or at least I attempt to allow for them + apologise + maybe, have some humility)!

There are various Land Registries over all the years (25 years in 2018), no County Court Judgements or any Criminality & no “defaults” by Roie.

I’m so very fortunate and somewhat lucky!

Many regards +++

Charlie W & Co.

Sent: 26 June 2017 18:08
To: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia, Williams.
Subject: Re:

Hi, Charlie,

I guess you are right, about my not being able to do anything about it. And that very much relieves the frustration.

The damaging bullying and justification of the bullying, directed at me left me with the feeling that I had somehow caused the abuse because I was in some way ‘bad’, and even more so if I didn’t believe/wouldn’t admit that I was ‘bad’ – that was truly a hanging offence! It has taken me a long time to untangle all the twisted lines. I was very much the odd one out, so the herd instinct made them turn on me collectively and drive me out. I am thankful to say I have now learned to see it in perspective, and no longer take it seriously. But for a very long time, I took it completely to heart.

My father didn’t drink, so I have never had the taste for it, I am glad to say. But I have personally witnessed the destructive havoc it wreaks, both physically and emotionally, in peoples’ lives.

The plus side to it all is having an empathy with those who have experienced similar damage within their family, and an instinctive desire to help them. I think I played that role in my family – I was the one they could all vent on without fear of reprisal, in order to relieve their feelings of unhappiness, frustration, anger, etc. Bullying me was ‘therapy’ for them!

I imagine it is very rewarding, caring for Lizzie’s sister, but also demanding. My friends have a daughter similarly severely damaged as a baby. I feel so fortunate it didn’t happen to me.

Many affectionate regards,

Celia.

Hi, Celia 04/07/2017

One of the biggest bugbears is that she has not used “our family money to any good purpose” (if there is such a thing); been conned, so on..? The dreadful road that she lives on (from my transport driving days & Google Maps), seemingly all on her own, with a very low psychological codependent parameter, so to speak (OK, sort of, when young, but as one gets older: yucky)? Her invisibility, in this day and age, astounding – Ian is not so much! A scary darkness, but as you say, she feels alright – no deaths reported at her postcode recently! Pitchorn Farm, just up the road, up a trackway, a hideaway behind an industrial unit.

It is, still, fairly insignificant, talking about all this – you have your fabulous art & culture, myself, a not quite fully grown up family; all are much bigger than the “self”!

Roie, before the divorce, was fairly involved with the Doctors and her Petit Mal + car crash & very self-absorbed. Did this go on to be something much worse?

Of course, there will be various characters that would jump on the bandwagon (“building castles & collecting the rent”, so to speak) for some gain! There were a few rather unfortunate characters hanging about at Westbrook Hall Farm, hoping to pick up some spoils, which no doubt that they did!

I’m so lucky to have gone, very happily, way beyond that awfully trite and shallow menage that it was becoming!

Many kind regards +++

Charlie

REPLY 05/07/2017 Re:
CG
Celia Gollin
Reply|
Today, 17:32
Hi, Charlie,

Margaret was always rather overconcerned re Roi’s health, a natural concern, of course, but I think this then led to Roie’s emphasis, developing from that. I know Roie had some ‘female troubles’, post-divorce. I had also been told she had a bad back, from various falls. This meant she couldn’t ride any longer, I believe. Health issues tend to get worse with age, so I don’t expect she is clear of such concerns.

It seems from what you have been saying that the marriage had indeed run its course. Things always find their natural level, and you and Roie were obviously not on the same level in life.

It surprises me, to learn of Roie’s relationship issues, as it was always presented to me that she was ‘healthy’ in that respect. I always assumed that she and Ian had no such problems because they had been raised in a ‘normal’ family environment, with no losses involved. But the relationship between Brian and Margaret was not harmonious, and the atmosphere at times was deeply oppressive. It seems it must have taken its toll on Roie, the effects of which later emerged inevitably in your marriage.

Re Pitchorn Farm, was that the farm belonging to the man Roie went to live with? Whatever the situation between them now, my feeling is that Roie is not in the best of health. It seems she is possibly involved in breeding livestock. It would be unlike her to sit and do nothing. I can only guess she is happy in the life she has made for herself and lives untroubled by conscience.

But if she has not made good use of your money, then in time that situation will right itself.

Very kindest regards,

Celia.

Hi Charlie, 21/07/2017

Just a few words on Margaret and Brian’s relationship, that may throw light on your experience with Roie.

After my father’s death, my mother was depressed and lonely. She had two very young children in tow, and, in the climate of the time, felt that to be a distinct drawback in finding a new partner. As well, there were few opportunities available for her to meet someone suitable. She met Brian at the Tennis Club, an acceptable middleclass watering hole in St George’s Hill, Weybridge. At the time, she thought he was a gregarious, sociable person, as it appeared when she met him amongst a group of people up there. He lived with his elderly mother, the youngest of three sons. His mother was not in good health, and, should she pass away, the house, a detached property in the Ashley Road area, would be sold, and the proceeds shared between the three brothers.

They courted, he went away for a year working abroad, and on his return, they got engaged, and married in 1953.

Margaret later told me that, had she known what he was really like, she would not have married him. She termed him ‘neurotic’, telling me that once they got married, his apparent sociability disappeared, and he never wanted to socialise, go out, or have people, apart from a very few friends, and Uncle Colin, come around to the house.

Prior to his departure to Trinidad, they had been going out for a year, not sufficient time to get to know one another.

From what my mother told me, loneliness was the main reason she married again.

As for Brian, he once told me he didn’t love her, and really had only married her because she had the house, and was a good housekeeper. He said the alternative, once his mother had died, would have been a bedsit in Surbiton, which he just couldn’t face. There was a rocky period in their marriage in which he was rather suspiciously close to his secretary, a young woman on her own with a small child.

When Roie came along, she was very much the apple of their eye, and could twist them both round her little finger. She ruled the roost until Ian came along, and then, as you know, there was a lot of friction. I remember Merial and me forever competing for Margaret’s love, with never enough to go round for the two of us. I saw Roie and Ian’s relationship as being a direct repetition of this. Margaret did not seem to have much love to give, and told me she did not have a good relationship with her own mother, and was glad to marry early to get away from home. She also made all of us children feel like a burden to her, which in turn made us view having children as a real drag. She was constantly going on about how, when she was married to my father, she had a butler, a maid, a gardener and a cook, saying this in front of Brian.

He was very passive-aggressive within the relationship, and it was her way of getting back at him, I suppose. So that is a brief summary of the goings-on at Greenacre, and very often I felt like the only real adult in the family.

It put me off marriage for life.

Maybe that clarifies certain issues, with regard to Roie.

Kindest best regards,

Celia.

REPLY 21/07/2017

Hi, Celia.

Sorry I’ve been very busy in getting a house ready for some new tenants. I will check this all out & your last email, after next weekend, when they move in. I’ve worked nearly 60 days straight – too long, but it is a fabulous property built in 1864, but with a myriad of problems (a good investment for our children & a second property in the meantime for us + its income).

I hope that Roie has collected a property or two, with her luckily gained/given resources from my/families estate & having only herself to bring up/look after in life (a principal & major achievement by Lizzy & myself that nobody can take away or ever deny)! Her butting out on my Parents was disgraceful, unforgivable + all her other pathetic and juvenile antics that put me through a short period of hell and were potentially life threatening – thank goodness this was professionally spotted & then my freedom was assured, from this short period of slavery that I had to a bully (less than a year at max, or was it slightly more?).

The pressure builds up (over time) day by day, year by year for her; the psychic unity of humankind (love/empathy/some level of co-dependency, so on…  – without it you may as well be dead or are): when it’s allowed to flourish out of these appalling darkness’s that have been found within this family & it’s dismal ending (the line & more). So interesting, after my rather brief (shallow & dark, in comparison) encounter on my “personal life’s timeline” with the close relationship to Roie & all the Maxwell-Muller’s. If nothing happens in my lifetime, by Karma, it will be in the future, presumably, with my children – in financial (as mentioned before) or in other terms, or with all the children’s children! Everybody wants to know today (if you want to look) & nothing and nobody can hideaway – electronic and public/private documents, so easily and legally are obtained today – Wills – Land Registry – Banking Ratings – Medical Histories, so on…

Kind regards +++

Charlie

07/08/2017 (Crockford, Kingsclere. One does presume).

Hi, Charlie,

Thanks for your message.

Re the man Roie lived with after the divorce, who taught Roie about training gun dogs, I believe, it would seem they split up as a couple, and Roie was able to buy her own place when Margaret died, with the money she was then left. But there appears to remain a friendship/business arrangement, and I would imagine the money you gave her has been invested in the venture in question.

The above is guesswork, of course, based on Roie’s location, and the fact that his farm, which had been in the family for generations, according to Margaret, was extensive, and could, therefore, accommodate a livestock business.

The whole story is sad, stupid, and senseless. Those who are not able to stand up and be counted tend to resort to evasion. Guilt also plays a part. As does not being able to admit to any wrongdoing. They take after their mother in that respect. Not the sort of people I want to have in my life, antithetical to everything I believe in. So, in fact, I am relieved they have chosen to have nothing to do with me. I would otherwise feel duty-bound since they are ‘family’. A natural parting of the ways, I suppose.

I hope your Summer is going well, that the new tenants are happily settled in, and that the Twins have recovered from their exams ordeal! I am sure they will achieve excellent results.

Warmest regards to all,

Celia.

Hi, Celia reply to Celia (below) 09/08/2017

Doing some thinking about this?, the pressure, as I said, will build up & I’m learning about it “all” (getting there) at the same time. 25 years ago + is the recommended “Remembrance Therapy” (the recognition of “abuse”, they say, takes 14 yrs., on average)! Lessons for the kids! A book to write puts “50 Shades” to shame + reading all the books on the ghastly Public School System!

I know that for me all that was on my mind was a love for Roie (she knew this) & for (loving) life and all it’s “powerful forces” & being so “free & spontaneous” – at long last, after the sale of a “family estate” – “Westbrook Hall Farm”!

We had all!, been through many stages of PTSD, due to our “upbringings” & “parenting” & “family anomalies” – crushing’s of all our spirits & morals & dignities by some unspeakable cruelties (put downing’s – if we did not obey + the “ostracizations” & much worse) that were put on all of us; mostly for the sake of the social status quo (class, so on…). The selfishness of our peers (dominant mothers) with their power, towards us, at this time, was very overpowering! The delay in being empowered, unless one was extraordinarily strong (I don’t think that intelligence IQ had much to do with this). Many of us were constantly moved on and distracted so that we couldn’t specialise really fully on anything! The “balanced individual” was a paramount (product) & in my case in training for the possibility of a new World War; from a very young age at my prep school & as a teenager & a little later in the Army.

Roie & her, so called “backups” (the dressage rider/trainer), making her cruel, bullying, and so very dangerous for me; being so very tired & overworked – in the calling in of Public Authorities (I was ex-Army ‘fully trained’, somewhat frightening to some, maybe?) that did backfire on her & within one day – the nonsenses & lies – the accusation of an attempted rape, on her, by me, being one of them; I am being led astray by her in all ways!, – unforgivable, & very “rock bottom, silly, frightening, scary for me/any man: tactics” by her. The attempted coup d’état at the Farm, with her dressage rider trainer; his wife telling me every day that they were running off together & worse, they lived in a caravan in a barn on the farm, maybe, the “gun-dog man” as well, but I think that all this came a little later, I may be wrong – all is in her “tow”. She couldn’t continue this harassment very publicly, as her Public type of Divorce that she chose (not necessary, having no children – “childless marriage”!); it would not have been allowed to go through if there was “coercion”! She maintained a bullying stance for some considerable time, though only very privately against me, she only knows what those tactics were, but were on occasion life threating (when being physically assaulted by her, I found that to bare myself was the answer to this – she would back off & the run/go away) there seems to of been no dignity border that she would not cross to harass me & so dangerously: grabbing the wheel of the car from me whilst I was driving to steer into other cars, so on… She would, though, have occasional breakdowns of great pleadings, for this, or that, that added to her outcome of greediness’s (The Settlement). The main thing was to get it all through (esp., for me) so that we could finally separate, so out of tune was she!

So interesting (tantric-fic): quite fascinating to find out, how that she then did survive, in this “state of un-loving, denial, hating & awful lies”, a future unrequited, physical fascination, maybe – “love match” and a lonely 77 Newbury Road (in comparison, with my rather full life of love; a wife of 12 years younger & more pretty than Roie, children & laughter & crying & caring, all the “normal” things). What is 77 Newbury Rd like inside? How is she physically, the “state of mind” (esp., with her) being so important to her general well-being, so to speak… What does she do all day – life being “movement”!? Is she, now, “quite dead” in her “soul”?

Much too “dark”, for me to really “chase after”, but as all the info comes in, the picture “builds up & builds up”!

Many kind regards +++

Charlie
From: celia gollin
Sent: 04 August 2017 16:16
To: Lizzy and Charles, Chris and Amelia, Williams.
Subject: Re:

Hi, Charlie,

Thank you for your message.

Yes, why is it that Roie divorced you, but kept your name???!!!
Obvious, in any case, who was strong, but that says it all.
I understand your need to track your assets.
My experience of the negative is just to steer well clear!

My best regards to you, Lizzy, and the Twins,

Celia.

Hi, Charlie, 12/08/2017

Thanks for your two messages.

I have no problem with deepness and find no surprises in what you say, it all just being an extension of what I experienced at Roie’s hands the removal of stuff sneakily in your absence, for example.

In the context of a relationship, many more scenarios for such stuff.

I know I was damaged by my upbringing, but I had no idea how very
damaged Roie was, since, as I’ve said, I was made to feel completely
inferior to both Roie and Ian, and to their respective lifestyles.

I will write more fully, the past few days I’ve not been following my
normal activities, due to a vet/animal hospital visit, so I am a bit out of kilter. The pet now on the mend, and home, btw.

Warmest thoughts and regards,

Celia.

Hi, Celia (reply 13/08/2017)

I hope that all is well, animals can be most heartbreaking. I’m very pleased that the animal is on the mend.

The squirrelling of Roie’s accounts for her secretiveness (being found out; if articles are displayed and then gloated/ the “self-appraisals of cleverness” upon at home) and the self-induced loneliness that she must really suffer from.

I think that she seriously must have, underestimated the intelligence of the people that she has squirrelled from. Mostly such minor things, but all those things having an emotional attachment – thus a rather puerile excitement for her and amongst her friends that she discloses this to as some sort of one up man-ship that carries weird favours/showing off. + all the lies!

A particularly nasty trait!

Many kind regards +++

Charlie.

Hi, Charlie, 16/08/2017

Roie took childhood books of mine – the ones I was trying to regain that day I came over – and the rocking horse, that was mine and Merial’s, the day before I was due to collect my belongings from Walton. I rather let that one go – the rocking horse – as I knew I would
never succeed in getting it back, and, anyway, Roie could probably give it a better home.

Tiny is much better now, thanks to the Blue Cross. She had bad gum disease and had to have a dental. But, sod’s law, just as she really improved, her brother Tommy showed signs of having the same condition. I wouldn’t mind, but they are both feral cats, and won’t let me approach until they get really bad. So it is now nerve-wracking, waiting for Tommy to get to that stage, knowing he is in pain, and can’t eat, and needs to be treated without delay.

Typically, it has happened just when I have rather a lot on my plate, and when I’ve not needed to go to a vet for several years!

I’ll have more time to write in due course.

I do hope all is well with you, fingers crossed for the exam results!

Best thoughts and regards,

Celia.

Hi, Reply 17/08/2017

We have two feral cats from the RSPCA – always a very great worry, they disappear for days out in the country, but come back after a few days, even if it is wet: bone dry & well??!!

Terrible, “unnormal” in the “empathetic regions” this dreadful squirreling of Roie’s (past??, I have a feeling that it would get much worse with age!).

Exams = “One” is away to “UNI” + “Gap Year?” & “One” has another year at “School” by choice – what a boost!

I will think about this more when we have settled down a bit (the humans that is).

Many regards +++

Charlie

me (2)

Dodgy Moment

“Thinking outside the box”
Hi Celia (Gollin) 14/09/2017
No news. I do expect “something” before our divorce’s 25th anniversary on Nov 2018!
Every – “menace”, “aberration”, “where or what for”; I’m afraid, can be put down to a severe “Tokophobia”.
The new scientific/psychological papers written on this subject have really made it a “fact”.
Of course, knowledge about this female condition did not really exist in early 1990’s, there were only anecdotes and stories for this now recognized profound psychological condition (it can happen also after pregnancy or giving birth, with more dire consequences).
It does exist in about 1 in 10 females – it is “very problematical for male partners”. I do hope that Roie may have found some respite in Lesbianism, or some form of escapism sexually from her Tokophobia, when her time on the Pill, advised by her GP, had really “run out” in 1990’s (advised by her GP to have children that went down with her so very and extremely badly).
I’m very pleased (somewhat proud) that I was able to remove myself from this dangerous situation that goes “against nature”, as my younger wife Lizzy would say.
Many Regards +++
Charlie

Re: “Thinking outside the box”.
Reply|
Today, 17:54
You
Hi Charlie, thanks for the great photo of the Twins. I hope their plans, post exam results, are going well.
Thanks, also, for your thoughts on the situation re Roie. I doubt Lesbianism is her cup of tea, and I expect she just beat a complete retreat from it all after the menopause. Margaret had tales to tell of difficult births, her first experience being a forceps delivery with Merial. She had such a bad time that my father, she said,
was extremely surprised when she wanted another child. Apparently, my birth was a lot easier. Couple this with the fact Margaret seemed to find having children to be a complete pain in the arse, and it isn’t hard to understand why Roie wasn’t keen on the idea! Owning animals seemed an easier option!
I think Hell will freeze over before you hear from Roie! Having right royally stung you in the divorce, she cannot be free from guilt. Also re all the false accusations. So absurd, to have accused you of rape!
Such an obvious attempt to make you out to be the villain of the piece, in order to extract a maximum divorce settlement.
Warmest thoughts and regards, Celia Gollin.

Re: “Thinking outside the box”.
Reply|
Thu 14/09/2017 19:20
To:
celia gollin
Hi, Celia – thanks for the reply.
All wonderfully “close to the bone”, but I know there is a “soft spot” in the psychology of Roie – accusations of rape without penetration; being, “led astray by her” (she had a “50 Shades” fetish at times, was so very surprising to her that what she said, I should do to her, came to this “half-cocked/baked conclusion”; her using this as a lever, besides, all the other rather pathetic tactics and menaces. Of course, she could have ruined me, had I not had let her get away with a myriad of some very minor concessions, to make her feel very satisfied, and to get the wretched relationship over with her and as soon as possible, however heartbreaking it was (I took all the cash +++).
It did stretch me out a bit, admittedly, but not nearly as much as it has done to her (that is why she wrote to me in 2004)! I dreamt up about the dark place that she inhabits and it reminded me of the compulsory Social Services that we had to do at Millfield, where there were people that we looked after for an afternoon a week all in an unforgettable terrible condition.
I was a top of my Platoon in mastering the “interrogation training” and the “gas chamber”, plus, the “outward bound survival” and was put forward for the SAS that I declined, as a marksman of all weapons in shooting for my Regiment. I did not agree with Northern Ireland’s British Gov politics. I knew that by being trained to kill at a very young age (Shooting Classes at Prep School – winning the All Prep Schools, one year) that I would have to carry this out in Northern Ireland. The Government had spent an amazing amount of money on me and were seriously upset, but I had joined on a “Special Engagement” that had a legal clause loophole that I used to extract myself. Mercenary work was available, but I had the Family Country Estate to manage that was worth such a lot more, without having to participate in lots of horrific nastiness’s. One also had to survive, the “putting downs” given out by our parents (esp., my Mother who had two previous children that lived with us and were given more quarter) at this time, very much like you, had to do!
Many Regards
Charlie

Hi, Charlie, 30/09/2017

And surely no need to feel any guilt. You say yourself you tried to help her, but in my experience people can only be helped if they acknowledge they need help, and want to take that help on board.

Roie clearly wasn’t ready to admit she had a problem. I would be fascinated to know how she is doing, and partly curious as to what. Both she and Ian were so brainwashed by Margaret, into rejecting me.

Neither of them, sadly, will ever get beyond that, as also because of guilt at the way they treated me.

They don’t know how to deal with it.

What you have been telling me is a revelation – I bought the propaganda hook, line and sinker.

It has helped me more than I can possibly say. I now realise I was as brainwashed as they were.

I was made to feel I was the lowest of the low, and it severely affected my confidence.

Realising that Roie had problems of which I was completely unaware has shattered their carefully constructed version of events. I now feel I never had the chance to get to know Roie as she really is.

I wish I could help her, but honestly believe, from what I do know of her, that she would never admit to having any problems. Margaret was the same. It took me ages to realise that. But it didn’t occur to me that Roie had problems, because she had two secure parents, and a sibling, and therefore had not got such issues, I assumed. And also because I had never had the opportunity to get to know her.

Sheer curiosity means I would love to know how she is, and what she is doing! Maybe I have a sadly human desire to be told she is not doing very well, because of the way she – and they – treated me!

Many best regards to you, Lizzie, her sister, and the Twins,

Celia Gollin.

Hi,

Working on this – it’s terribly interesting. Also, having some real life (if not, “real”, deceased) “Ghosts” to think about!
No one does not have some “trail” – they have tried to avoid this (massively). A most interesting aberration!
In all my experiments exploring the “constructs”, trying to keep up with the iGENS (my kids and younger friends).
Or, at least to have “some knowledge” & not “poo-pooing everything” in my older age, that for sure, will be a sign, of my increasing senility & decrepitness!

How do you move forward?
The important thing to remember is that when someone ghosts you, it says nothing about you or your worthiness for love and everything about the person doing the ghosting. It shows he/she doesn’t have the courage to deal with the discomfort of their emotions or yours, and they either don’t understand the impact of their behaviour or worse don’t care. In any case, they have sent you an extremely loud message that says: I don’t have what it takes to have a mature healthy relationship with you. Be the better person, retain your dignity, and let him/her go peacefully.

Don’t allow someone else’s bad behaviour to rob you of a better future by losing your vulnerability and shutting yourself off from another relationship. Keep your energy focused on doing what makes you happy. Know that if you are someone who treats people with respect and integrity – then the ghoster simply wasn’t on your wavelength and someone better is coming your way, as long as you keep your heart open and your focus forward https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much

I’m sure that, eventually, all will be revealed, at least, I’m, an “open-book”. How horrible & very sad, it must be, not to “BE”; in this fascinating (electrified) modern world. All sorts of contention comes from my relationship with the Maxwell-Muller family. Thank goodness that we had no children, the marriage/breakup, no more, than a friendship ending. The sex & the “suppose-ed love”; no more than a (silly – childish) plaything (the world that they live in now, it seems)!

Many kind regards +++

Charlie & Family.

To Celia, accused.me.uk – Falsely accused of rape or sexual assault? How dangerous is this (the – “scary – blame-game”)! You know who you are!

About luckyme0

My First family, second marriage, bringing up my 18-year-old twins, boy, and girl. I am a third generation Humanist, who has some old handwritten information and notes; collected over many years. Someone may find the articles interesting, or helpful. They could bring back a little ‘reality’, after being ‘shocked’ and ‘brainwashed’, by some malicious group, or institution (REBT Therapy). People should know better, than to do this, to our very young, and the ‘obviously’ vulnerable! Go to easily accessible, non-superstitious knowledge that is not charlatanism! https://charleslizzy.com/2011/08/06/independent-schools-inspectorate-isi-marketing-spirituality-buzzword-or-maybe-even-for-you-to-shiver-at-the-something/ The blog has given me an incentive to order my thoughts, learn, and read up again, after a few non-thinking years of (very silly) imagination and passion. Why not, get your own key to a ‘door’, customise it to suit you, and it can be, all of your very own! Don’t believe, or be led by someone else’s; inherited, stupid, and a very likely (past, and not of today’s) ‘totally preposterous reality’s’. Only some interest in the ‘really big questions’, keeps life above the level of a farce, and very little else! KEEP THINKING! Some of the posts may need some correcting. Interests: REBT Counselling, Atheism, Secularism, Humanism, Psychology, Reading, Popular Science, School Ethos, Philosophy, History, Family, Parenting, Psychology, Horse Riding, Sailing, Rescue Boat Driver, Skiing (Teppichswinger), TV Documentaries, Motorbike Cross Country Riding, Volunteer Sports Stewarding, Writing, Primitive Man, Pre-history, Social Anthropology, British Humanist Association, BHA, Meaning of Life, The Big Questions, Where am I, What am I, Why am I, Hippie Love, Knowledge, Education, Globalisation. Favorite quote: “The world belongs to those who, at least to some degree, have figured it out.” Carl Sagan, ‘The Demon Haunted World’, ‘Contact’, and other famous books DVD ‘Cosmos’. The warning of another and horrendous, “Age of Superstition”. “Isn’t there something deeply absurd in the presumption that children ought to inherit beliefs from their parents. It can be deeply damaging, even lethally divisive. A ‘them’, with an ‘against us’, mentality” – Professor Richard Dawkins. “The will to believe is stronger than mere reason in the vast majority of people” – Dr J.Brown, Army Psychologist of the 1960′s. Humans will believe in almost anything, in fact, they seek it! Why? “98% of us, trained to be just good consumers, let’s train our children to be the 2% who have their very own creativity and discernment”; quote by a famous surreal artist. “The lack of reason brings forth monsters”. “Global interconnectedness is lethal against mass religion, nationalism, racism, and other destructive memeplexes. Let us connect everybody they hate it in restrictive regimes”; from the ‘meme learning group’, Richard Brodie’s book, ‘Virus Of The Mind’ (Richard Brodie a designer for ‘Microsoft Word’). Following on, J.Bronowski, and ‘The Ascent Of Man’ TV series, and a book http://www.bbcshop.com/science+nature/the-ascent-of-man/invt/9781849901154/ with the last DVD in this series, ‘The Long Childhood’ being especially revealing. ‘Prehistory’ and the ‘Making of the Human Mind’ by Colin Renfrew, with P.Wilson’s, ‘The Domestication of the Human Species’, and Nigel Spivey’s, TV series and book, ‘How Art Made The World’, offers some further explanations. Latest reading: Jared Diamond http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jared_Diamond
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