Europe’s – The World’s: ‘Migration Crisis’ & ‘A Fraudulent Promise’.

Desk

Desk

Charles Anthony Leonard Williams
Hi, Charlie,

Thanks for your message, obviously a very hectic time for you, and continuing to be so for a while longer.

It really lightens my heart to have you call a spade a spade, when for so long I was up against that tribe of bullies on my own, all behind closed doors, being made to feel that I was the one at fault in some way and that they were whiter than white. It severely impaired my life for years to come. Pure poison. I so vividly remember Margaret announcing to Merial and me that she and ‘uncle Brian’ had got engaged, and my heart plummeting through my boots, knowing I could say nothing, and wouldn’t have been listened to anyway.

From that day on my life went downhill, with Brian moving in and then the arrival of Roie making the situation irretrievably permanent.

I am sorry you had to suffer in the same way. I can’t say Brian was all bad. But his motive, in marrying Margaret, stinks. She was vulnerable, insecure and lonely. I can’t say why I felt like I did, but I always felt that Brian was ‘bad blood’. Your experience would seem to bear this out.

The dodgy types hanging around the farm, the pathetic and juvenile antics you were subjected to, the pursuit of your wealth, it all seems to be part and parcel. It was fortunate you and Roie didn’t have children.

I’ve learnt to wise up a bit. But when you are very naive, as I was, and when you have been trampled on, and made to feel you are in the wrong for most of your early life, robbing you of any confidence, or the ability to stick up for yourself, mainly because you have been made to doubt your own perceptions, bullies can have a field day, and boy, do they go to town! They can smell a victim a mile off. So I had to learn to deal with that, big time.

I look forward to hearing from you when time allows.

Best and warmest regards,

Celia Gollin.

Hi Charlie, 21/07/2017

Just a few words on Margaret and Brian’s relationship, that may throw light on your experience with Roie. Rosemary Gillian Williams, nee, Maxwell-Muller.

After my father’s death, my mother was depressed and lonely. She had two very young children in tow, and, in the climate of the time, felt that to be a distinct drawback in finding a new partner. As well, there were few opportunities available for her to meet someone suitable. She met Brian at the Tennis Club, an acceptable middle-class watering hole in St George’s Hill, Weybridge. At the time, she thought he was a gregarious, sociable person, as it appeared when she met him amongst a group of people up there. He lived with his elderly mother, the youngest of three sons. His mother was not in good health, and, should she pass away, the house, a detached property in the Ashley Road area, would be sold, and the proceeds shared between the three brothers.

They courted, he went away for a year working abroad, and on his return, they got engaged and married in 1953.

Margaret later told me that, had she known what he was really like, she would not have married him. She termed him ‘neurotic’, telling me that once they got married, his apparent sociability disappeared, and he never wanted to socialise, go out, or have people, apart from very few friends, and Uncle Colin, come around to the house.

Prior to his departure to Trinidad, they had been going out for a year, not sufficient time to get to know one another.

From what my mother told me, loneliness was the main reason she married again.

As for Brian, he once told me he didn’t love her, and really had only married her because she had the house, and was a good housekeeper. He said the alternative, once his mother had died, would have been a bed sit in Surbiton, which he just couldn’t face. There was a rocky period in their marriage in which he was rather suspiciously close to his secretary, a young woman on her own with a small child.

When Roie came along, she was very much the apple of their eye and could twist them both around her little finger. She ruled the roost until Ian came along, and then, as you know, there was a lot of friction. I remember Merial and me forever competing for Margaret’s love, with never enough to go round for the two of us. I saw Roie and Ian’s relationship as being a direct repetition of this. Margaret did not seem to have much love to give and told me she did not have a good relationship with her own mother and was glad to marry early to get away from home. She also made all of us children feel like a burden to her, which in turn made us view having children as a real drag. She was constantly going on about how, when she was married to my father, she had a butler, a maid, a gardener and a cook, saying this in front of Brian.

He was very passive-aggressive within the relationship, and it was her way of getting back at him, I suppose. So that is a brief summary of the goings-on at Greenacre, and very often I felt like the only real adult in the family.

It put me off marriage for life.

Maybe that clarifies certain issues, with regard to Roie.

Kindest best regards,

Celia Gollin “Mony Mony” “The Mutations” and “The Stranglers”.
4d
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Charles Anthony Leonard Williams
Hi, Charlie, (reply from 03/08/2017)

Thank you for your message, and for the photos, always most welcome.

Maybe being put in the picture helps place the whole situation in context and in perspective.

And thus helps resolve feelings. These have a habit, otherwise, of lingering into the present.

The more you know, the better. As is said, knowledge is power. the present is all we have, but what has happened in the past shapes the present, and shapes us.

The fact is, as you so well point out, 25 years ago is not now. We do what we do at any given time with what we then possess in terms of knowledge and experience. We did our best.

If we are not happy with what we did, or what was done, tant pis. We learn, and move on.

I think we have to accept when we make mistakes, or when we later feel we could have done differently, or ‘better’. We cannot change it, and would not have done things differently anyway because we didn’t then possess the experience we have gained by a later date.

I personally think it best to move on, and waste no more time on it, and instead concentrate on the present. Chasing Roie for some redress, financial or otherwise, wastes present time.

It is a continuation only of the negative, and cannot, therefore, lead to any real good, I believe.

You cannot change negative forces, and they only damage you by contact.

The best thing you ever did was to GET OUT, and buying your freedom was money well spent, and to the lasting benefit of your present, and of your future.

Very best of regards,

Celia.
4d
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Charles Anthony Leonard Williams
Sent: 03 August 2017 21:04
To: celia gollin
Subject: Re:

Hi,

Thanks for the email.

I don’t intend to do anything or would want to (it’s far, far – very too dark). I will document the history. The filchers of “heritage” will surely become known, on Roie, as there is a new generation (hopefully, unseen at present and with many more generations of mine to come???).

As with all bullies, as you say, they are fundamentally weak. I found this during the divorce and was well able to protect myself, playing the game that she had initialized, and which, with some very good advice, I played it with a most wonderful outcome! I fell, once again in love, with such a very lucky outcome and considering my age.

It was a great shock to get a letter from Roie in 2004 (the twins being 5 yrs old) – Lizzy remembers it well, showing up her weakness (I, of course, did not respond to Roie, as most unfair)!

Now I have my retirement time to redo the old videos and photos and history. I did wish her well in her new life – at my age, we live, somewhat, on borrowed time; with a lot of help from our Doctors!

I am quite happy to put down Roie as “deceased” in my history, but I would like to track the assets, which if over a certain amount, will become public (just like she made our divorce when there was no real need to). The inheritors will become known, maybe not to me, but to the future generations of mine!

With all the time (luckily money too) on my side to await the outcomes, the vacuum (I couldn’t live with that), so to speak, belongs to the Maxwell-Muller’s, especially, with one that still (audacity) carries my name. Dinah changed hers back for some reasons, by deed poll (weird, as no “offspring”, only that of her boyfriend)!

Many kind regards +++

Charlie
3d
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Charles Anthony Leonard Williams
Hi, Charlie, 05/08/2017

Thank you for your message.

Yes, why is it that Roie divorced you, but kept your name???!!!
Obvious, in any case, who was strong, but that says it all.
I understand your need to track your assets.
My experience of the negative is just to steer well clear!

My best regards to you, Lizzy, and the Twins,

Celia.

My Reply 05/08/2017

Hi, Celia.

Thanks for the email.

To not sound grand, the negative (so boring, usually, with boring people, un-exploring in all ways, dare I say “very common”) seems to be, in this case; a good measuring stick for oneself.
Maybe, we are all co-dependent (varying degrees of), and this is all very weird, making it all so very much more fascinating!

Why Kingsclere? We used to shoot there or pick up pheasants, for the Sainsbury Shoot, with our gun dogs on Saturdays. (Roie did not like to drive on motorways due to her accident and agoraphobia & psychosis, so I had to take her).

I preferred riding horses (went into, more fully, Eventing, after the divorce with Roie + with the family & my nieces in Dorset – Dorset was my mother’s county, with a traceable aristocratic ancient heritage – such fun playing with this), skiing (climbing), sailing, so on…

You couldn’t really do both or all. Also in my flat, near to them, in the New Forest; it was not fair to keep a gun dog after Westbrook Hall Farm.

Roie seems to of hitched up with a Crockford, maybe, N. J Crockford, Pitchorn Farm / Star Farm, behind the Star Inn Kingsclere (Kingsclere Estates & Ecchinswell), or he hitched her up.
Then her house move after Margaret died to 77 Newbury Road, RG20 4SU in 2003-2004. Presumably, is the “spinster’s” pad.

Very much a Brian looks alike. I think that he came to Westbrook whilst I was there in the last stages of our marriage!

What an awful business.

Many regards,

Charlie. http://www.nhmedicalfund.org/2017/04/04/clay-pigeon-shoot-raises-6k/

http://www.newburytoday.co.uk/news/home/21163/sharpshooters-on-target-for-charity.html
Hi, Charlie, 12/08/2017

Thanks for your two messages.

I have no problem with deepness and find no surprises in what you say, it all just being an extension of what I experienced at Roie’s hands the removal of stuff sneakily in your absence, for example.

In the context of a relationship, many more scenarios for such stuff.

I know I was damaged by my upbringing, but I had no idea how very
damaged Roie was, since, as I’ve said, I was made to feel completely
inferior to both Roie and Ian, and to their respective lifestyles.

I will write more fully, the past few days I’ve not been following my
normal activities, due to a vet/animal hospital visit, so I am a bit out of kilter. The pet now on the mend, and home, btw.

Warmest thoughts and regards,

Celia.

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